IUD out, not pregnant

Well, I had my Mirena IUD taken out on Friday since Garvin had a half-day and the OB my doctor recommended had an openning.  For those who didn't know, I had the IUD placed when Liam was 5 weeks old because of how easily I concieved Liam - I didn't want to risk getting pregnant again too quickly.  I had it taken out because, in addition to the oopsie in August issues, I still hadn't had a period and wanted to know if that was because of the IUD (that brand has that nice side effect) or because of the breastfeeding, since my cycles were irregular before pregnancy and I want to know what my body is doing - we want to concieve our next child in August so that it's born around Liam's 3rd birthday.

Well, the doctor did another pregnancy test just to be sure before removing the IUD and it was negative.  Everything went smoothly - took like 30 seconds to remove the thing and all I felt was a little tug, very minor cramping afterwards which may have actually been because I was hungry.  Doctor warned me that I could ovulate again within the next two weeks if it was the IUD and not just breastfeeding that had my cycles stopped.

Well, last night my period started right before going to bed.  I'd been feeling a little crampy off and on for a while.  Right now, soon after waking up, I'm still not convinced that my pregnancy symptoms in August/September were wrong.  I'm wondering now if I was, indeed, pregnant and miscarried but the IUD may have delayed the flushing of everything.  My body really seemed to believe it was pregnant.  Or was it because of the little bit of hormone in the IUD tricking it into that, in combination with other stuff going on with my post-pregnancy body?

Given all the details of my life and hopes/plans for the future, I don't plan on getting another IUD after the next baby - I'm actually hoping to have at least 3 kids (up to 5, if finances and family can work it out), and being that I'll be 29 in less than a month, I want the rest of them a little closer in age (2 years apart instead of 3).  Even if the HMO we have at those times will pay for it, it just doesn't seem worth the bother to have it placed for that short of a time since I'd want it out at least 5-6mo before trying to concieve to see what my body is up to naturally (and lots of my breastfeeding mom friends don't have their first periods much longer than that anyway).  I might get another one when the last baby is a newborn, it depends on the available options at that time.  I didn't have a bad experience with it at all, even with this wondering if I was pregnant or not in the last few months.

sorrow for another's loss

Sabrina just called to say her friend who concieved by surprise after being told for a long time that she was infertile has lost the pregnancy.  She was very early on - less than 10 weeks - but it had become real for her.  Sabrina had said that her friend was looking for any positive energy anyone could offer when she found out she was pregnant, due to being high-risk by default, and I'd taken some extra yarn I had from an old project and started making a "healthy pregnancy, happy baby" blanket (it's hunter green, so most people wouldn't really think of it as a "baby blanket").  I had just put the final stitches on it and was getting ready to do the last finishing touches of weaving in the ends of the yarn when Sabrina called to tell me about her friend's loss.  Liam is laying half-asleep with the blanket right now, he's been playing with the squares the whole time I've been working on it (it's made up of 9 gigantic "granny squares").  I can only begin to feel what this woman I've never met must be going through as I look at my healthy, happy toddler.  I was just telling Garvin last night how sometimes it hits me exactly how blessed I am when I look at Liam, how the knowledge that other women do not concieve as easily as we did, go through pregnancies as relatively uneventful and birth so "easily", and even if they do how lucky we are to have such an easy-going (even though "high need") child as Liam is.  It's quite likely we were having that discussion as this other woman was in the progress of miscarrying.

I'm holding this dear friend of a dear friend in my thoughts today, wishing the joy I have in motherhood to be a bond she and I share some day.