Let's say that, to entice women to give birth at a specific hospital, the hospital started giving away really nice baby sleeping device to every family that birthed there. While the mom and baby were at the hospital, the baby would become accustomed to the sleeping aid, which would serve to sooth the newborn to sleep quickly and keep them asleep longer. Some were concerned that there could be potential negative side effects - such as newborns not gaining weight appropriately due to not waking often enough to feed - but the manufacturer, hospital, and society in general assured the new mothers that the device was a godsend and would help them get that thing they were constantly being told they'd long for in the coming months: a decent night's sleep.
There's one drawback to this "free" sleep device, though. It only comes with a starter battery that will last for less than a week after discharge, then the replacement batteries cost about $150 per month. And the babies have been trained to really want the device in order to go to sleep by the time it leaves the hospital, so much so that it will reject (with very loud screams) any other method used to try to get them to sleep.
Mothers are pressured - subtlety and not-so-subtlety - to use the device, in some cases being called names if they chose other methods to get their newborns to sleep and willingly "suffer" through the many night-wakings. More hospitals start feeling market pressured to provide this wonderful "free" gift to new families and institute them, until almost every baby born in the country spends their first few unconscious spans of post-birth life in one of the sleep devices.
A few hospitals start to rebel against this trend, instead teaching new parents how to sooth their newborns to sleep in their own arms, only to be criticized for not giving a nice "free" gift to new mothers who live in poverty.
Think this sounds surreal? Guess what... it's what we've been doing as a country for decades, only with infant formula/breastmilk instead of sleep device/mother's arms. And yes, people raise a rukus when hospitals stop giving away the "free" formula samples to new families, even though "free" breastfeeding education, training, and support would save the families more than a THOUSAND DOLLARS in just the first year of the child's life on groceries alone. But we tax-payers get to pay for a lot of that formula instead. Where's the ruckus to do what's right for babies and poor families from the start? Some WIC agencies will provide a breastpump for new moms if they ask for one, but from what I've heard it's a LOT easier to get the "free" formula than the breastpump, and many times the pumps given are inadequate and inefficient (which results in the moms falling back to using formula instead out of frustration).
Can this situation be changed? Only if more of us demand better for American families and stand up to support them instead of looking the other way - or worse, harrassing the new moms who DO try to breastfeed when that happens to be in the presence of others.
Do your part, for us.
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5 comments:
When I had Aleks, I had to have a valid reason for needing a pump to get it from WIC. I did have one because he was born with a cleft lip and palate. We drove an hour to get it from the office that had originally handled my case and special calls had to be made by the staff to acquire it. It wasn't much of an effort on my part (aside from calling ahead and driving the hour), but it certainly wasn't simple.
We may not have needed to drive the hour, in fact, but it seemed simpler than asking a different office to find me in the database and make sure it was okay.
Just, anecdotally there...
Formula feeding has become so ingrained that special effort must be made to avoid it. I blame this, as with almost all things I hate, on capitalism and capitalism on patriarchy. But that's another debate...
Urg... I hate that women have to "prove" that they need a pump. In my more militant moments, I want to advocate that they need to prove that they need the formula because they can't breastfeed or pump for some reason, but I don't think that's going to fly politically even though it would save taxpayers and society so much in the long run. I still give you such major props for how long you pumped for Aleks. I hated pumping and I'm not sure I'd've been able to go formula-free if I'd faced such a challenge with my firstborn (I think if this babe or a later one were born with a cleft I'm enough of a militant lactivist to pump long-term, probaby to the two year mark at least, but with a firstborn I don't know and I deeply respect you for it - I think I'm remembering correctly you made it past a year pumping?)
Yeah, part of it's capitalism, but it's deeper than that, particularly with minority women (especially African Americans), seen as a sign of privilege to be "able" to bottlefeed instead of "having" to breastfeed. There are a lot of tangled strands in the web that's got us stuck in a bottle-feeding culture. Folks not thinking deeply enough about the ramifications of the hospital formula bags is one (and a powerful patriarchal capitalist one! ;) ), but I'm sure there are tons of other reasons/factors that we've barely touched upon between us and our lactivist friendship group.
I made it 13 months. He was not entirely formula free. Saying that one could go longer is impractical. One's supply does not keep up with pumping the way it does with nursing. Many women can't make it past a few months without drastic measures. With the addition of Reglan or herbs I didn't try, I might have been able to boost my supply, but it's a losing battle and at some point, you have to just decide if it's worth it to continue. With more than one child, constant surgeries, navigating the health industry & health insurance industry, and double feeding, going two years or even one might make one feel like she's done the "right" thing or alternately might make one mentally ill or otherwise incapacitated.
So sure, you could martyr yourself, but it might not be worth it. I sobbed when I decided to stop pumping. I felt like I was letting him down. But I needed to give myself permission and give myself a break.
The entire marketing of formula to wealthy mothers initially was about making a buck back when it started. It was probably cheaper than hiring a wet nurse. Eventually it filtered down into lower income brackets though. Especially as incomes in general rose. So did costs. Certainly as new "needs" were added, but also due to general inflation. All capitalism. All patriarchy. All the time. lol
I very much trust your perspective on the extended pumping issue. I think in my case I'd have the added guilt issue of having given my earlier-born children more access to the good stuff (both boys nursed past their 2nd birthdays). It's part of what was freaking me out when I was worried this pregnancy might be twins, worrying about being able to breastfeed them exclusively and for as long as Liam & D did. Hopefully my luck will hold and I'll have kids one at a time and with no oral issues that make direct feeding problematic. Even if you had to suppliment, knowing that you made it that long really gives me confidence (and puts into perspective any direct feeding issues I ever have to face!). I hope you know I appreciate your friendship :)
You'll do fine! Worrying about the endless array of possibilities just makes you frazzled... You'll do what you have to do when faced with problems or obstacles. It's all any of us can do. Best of luck on the rest of the pregnancy and birth and on! And thanks for an interesting topic!
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