Not how I intended the picture to go

with the current heights of my sons, I'd thought it would be cute to take a picture them standing tallest-to-shortest (tallest in the back) with each taller kid hugging the next shorter kid from behind. Boy did this turn out to have a lot of Awkward Family Photo type images. This is the most appropriate one. Mind, my 2nd son has a tendancy to make weird faces at cameras in general, so getting a picture of all them looking at the camera with pleasant facial expressions is generall the job of Photoshop, so this isn't really bad as pictures go with him... however, this particular image seems very thought-bubble-caption worthy and I'll probably play with it later for that reason. Yes, the baby is practicing his go-limp-like-a-protester skills.

 

Dear Amazon: this is a fine example of ableism FAIL

So I emailed Amazon to complain about the lack of CAPTIONS FOR HEARING ISSUES (yes, I'm virtually shouting intentional of the irony here) on the videos that stream through Roku for free when you have Amazon Prime. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about with Downton Abbey, saw it was available for free via Prime, and thought "hey, I can watch it without messing with the ease of my kids getting to their favorite stuff via the recently watched queue on Netflix - yay" so gave it a go. No way to turn on the captions (which, for the record, ARE there on Netflix, and my primary reason for buying a *second* Roku for the household was because, up until recently, it was the only device to stream Netflix through that didn't require me to pause the video after it loaded and tell it every. effing. time. I. loaded. a. new. video that yes, I still have hearing issues that make me want the captions on thankyouverymuch). The current state of things at Amazon are, apparently, several years behind Netflix (who was sued for lack of captions on their streaming videos several years back), as was their reply to my email:

Hello,  This is Cameron from Amazon Instant Video.  Thank you for allowing me to help you look into how to utilize the closed captions option for Instant Videos on your Roku.  Closed captions is a feature we have just recently launched and one that we are working to make available with all options. If the video you are wanting to watch does have the closed captions option available, you can do the following to turn them on:  1. Go to the movie details page where you can Play/Resume the video  2. Select the option that says "Watch Trailer, Closed Captions, & More"  3. You can turn the closed captioning on / off for that title  4. To turn closed captioning on/off while the movie is playing, press the back arrow on the Roku remote to go back to the product detail page.  To ensure the video your interested has closed captions, you can look in the details page for the "Watch Trailer, Closed Captions, & More" option. If you want to view options from your computer you can do the following:  To browse for videos with closed captioning:  1.    From your web browser, go to the Amazon Instant Video store.  2.    Go to the Movies or TV Shows storefronts.  3.    Set the "Subtitles & Closed Captioning" filter in the left-hand column, and then browse the results.  To search for videos with closed captioning:  1.    From your web browser, go to the Amazon Instant Video store.  2.    Search for a video title or keyword, and then set the "Subtitles & Closed Captioning" filter to display only those videos that both match your search term and include closed captions.  Thank you for using Amazon Instant Video. We look forward to seeing you again soon.

Best regards, Cameron C.

Did I solve your problem?    Your feedback is helping us build Earth's Most Customer-Centric Company. Thank you. Amazon.com

Oh, so there's FEEDBACK as an option on this "Earth's most customer-centric company" ableist failure of duty. Good. I gave "Cameron" four stars and their policy one for being digitally archaic. There's also no way to reply to this message (it comes from a generic email address and doesn't indicate any tracking numbers to help reroute to "Cameron" and gives no indication of HOW to reply other than feedback, nor does it really INVITE a continuation of the discussion), so I took off points for that too.

Click submit presented me with this at the center of my screen:





Yeah... so I'm sending you an EMAIL about an issue that clearly identifies me as someone who has CHALLENGES HEARING (yes, I'm shouting at this proverbial "you") and you highlight your desire to help me via AUDITORY CHANNELS... with smaller-than-the-rest-of-the-page "not near a phone? send us an email" link tucked below... because the only reason I wouldn't want to talk to you people over the phone was simply because I didn't happen to be near one.

Assumptions much, Amazon? This is so effing archaic, I feel like throwing a good, old fashioned, ANTIQUE earhorn at someone.

And seriously, I have to jump through that many effing hoops to even FIND things that MIGHT have captioning? Yeah, THIS is why I don't pay you people for video streaming services. I cannot rely on things that I already have access to via Netflix (and that are already captioned on there) to be at an equal level of service through you. And it makes your service much less attractive.  And with an aging market (and with aging comes hearing issues) that is becoming more technologically adept, keep the hell up already if you're going to try to claim to be "customer-centric".