On my 7th World Breastfeeding Week as a lactivist

I type this with my 14mo asleep across my lap, nuzzled up to my breast while his father snuggles the older two into unconsciousness. I'm exhausted but felt the need to post something, this may be rambling nonsense so preemptive apologies if it gets too tangenty.

It's been a wild seven years since my first, first week of August(aka World Breastfeeding Week) as a breastfeeding mother in 2004. Back then, my state didn't recognize the legal right of my baby to eat wherever he was when he happened to be hungry and I could have been asked to leave a store for feeding him. Now, I still might get hassled for it but at least there's a law in place (thanks in very small part to Liam and I going down to our state capital to testify for the legislation). Teeth to it would be nice sometimes.

We just got back from an exhausting trip to NYC (whose state law does, incidentally, have "teeth" - there's at least a stated fine for harassing people for breastfeeding) where we stayed with my bro-in-law, visited with my mom-in-law's friends (NOT my idea of a great time after driving 500 miles in 11 hours with 3 young children, to have to then drive MORE to sit around a table for more than an hour while people socialized in a language I can't understand... but... whatever. I got to see the Harry Potter exhibition with my kids before it leaves the continent so I can't complain TOO much, right?). The baby H.A.T.E.S. his carseat, and is only somewhat mullified by playing music (when I want to be listening to audiobooks, of course). I had just got a new cell phone (my first Android, because my 2.5yr old Blackberry was dying), and had a new stereo installed in the van so I could do hands-free calling, and wound up streaming music from my phone through the stereo via bluetooth since it was easier to switch back to the audiobook if Little Bear allowed me to. Luckily my kids don't insist on listening to "kids music" (Liam's favorite song is by Dave Stewart from the Eurythmics, Del's current favorite song is by Alanis Morrissette, and Col tends to want Take to the Sky by Tori Amos, which is a b-side from Little Earthquakes and my "theme song"). I wasn't even sure what was ON my cell phone's memory card, I'd just copied everything over from the Blackberry since I used some of them as ringtones. Turned out to have some stuff that made me sentimental, and brought out a little of the militant lactivist/DragonMama in me, possibly to the chagrin of some of the other people in the restaurants we dined in bwahahahaha (no you obnoxious Jersey Shore types, I'm NOT interested in your parenting advice as your inappropriately dressed teens act like total cretins in public, thankyouverymuch).

The music pulls me back to my younger, more-steamroller-than-diplomat days (err... yes... I *have* gotten better about it, believe it or not). I find that I've needed to find a balance point between the assertive no-I'm-going-to-do-what's-right-up-yours-if-you're-gonna-try-to-oppress-me attitude (tho yeah, that still comes out... pretty much daily, to be honest) and the let's-see-if-we-can-find-a-win-win-compromise-that-doesn't-make-me-want-to-vomit-from-compromising-my-integrity end that I fear I may have to cultivate if I ever want to be a college professor. Motherhood has really helped me learn to SEEK that balance point more, even if I still tip to the former quite often.

I had Tori's From the Choirgirl Hotel album playing today while running errands. The album was written after the musician had a miscarriage. I don't think I've listened to it beginning-to-end since becoming a mother myself. I almost started crying during Playboy Mommy. It hit me hard when I first heard it, years before Liam was conceived, but now it reminds me of how very blessed I am to have had uneventful pregnancies and healthy children (especially since we had a friend's 4 year old daughter in the van with us - the friend is newly pregnant again currently, had miscarried a very wanted child shortly before I conceived Col then got pregnant again, the new baby will be less than 2 years younger than that baby). It made me think of the bonds motherhood has formed between me and other women, both child-bearers and not, and how much it has made my maternal line mean to me.

This has also been on my mind today because my mother forwarded to me an article written about my grand-uncle (maternal grandmother's brother, my grandmother is the only one of her siblings to ever marry, her siblings were like additional grandparents to me), which deeply touched me that my uncle's work has survived to be appreciated more than two decades after his death. I wonder what kind of ripples my own life's work will have. If long after I'm gone someone has such kind words to say about me that my descendants can come across, that will tell them that my life was well-lived. I wish I knew more about Uncle Norvin, I hope that my descendants will know more about me (and that I'll live long enough to know more about them... he was only in his mid-60s when he died, I was in kindergarten).

The milk of human kindness flows in many ways, but our babies deserve it first from their mother's breasts. How, in this scary economy, can we make that possible for more women? I am blessed to have had the privilege to breastfeed my children full-term (biologically - other mammals do not wean their young before they have enough teeth to eat a full adult diet... ponder that the next time you hear someone say "that baby is too old to be breastfed". If they're still young enough to have jars of baby food marketed to them, they're still young enough to be fed the way they were born expecting to be nourished). How can we be more kind in a meaningful manner, with mothers who have so many barriers to the way they might want to live? How can we make it possible for the cashier at the grocery store (who mentioned that she is hoping to have another child while commenting on the coolness of the baby carrier - a traditional Chinese style one - we had with us) to breastfeed her own for as long as she might like to, without making her feel like we have no understanding of the complexities of her life that just BEGIN with the chaos of her work schedule? Meaningful, PAID parental leave when a child is born would be part of it, but making breastfeeding mothers feel welcome and accepted in public places instead of abiding the mentality of the few that breastfeeding should only be done at home, behind closed doors - that'd be a start, I think. We've got such a long way to go. I hope that we get there before I'm a memory like my uncle.

First Birth (original poem by Ahmie Yeung)

I thought I had posted this ages ago but a search of my blog is not pulling it up anywhere. I had also meant to share it on the anniversary of my eldest's birth 3 weeks ago, then got distracted while looking for it on my hard drive. Today isn't any particularly special day - my 2nd son's birthday is in a week and I'm posting this now so I don't forget then. Just went looking for something else to do while my computer works on uploading wedding pictures I took for my friends on Saturday (almost typed "yesterday" then looked at the clock and realized it's after 1am so it's Monday now). The numbers at the end are my time stamp for when I finished it - year.month.day.hour.minute (approx). Hopefully it's readable, it's posted as an image because the formatting doesn't translate to web otherwise and the alternating of straight against the margin then undulating in a somewhat random pattern was the way I experienced my labor (I never fell into a regular pattern... not in 3 unmedicated, intervention-free births. Just not the way I roll ;) ).


Copyright is mine, yada yada yada... don't be an ass, ask first before reposting and don't try to claim it as your own.

Facebook says this is offensive

I think it is a demonstration of utilitarian artistry.

The chain mail was made by a friend of mine at my request, and apparently my 6 week old having a meal during a wedding is offensive. (baby Col's ubercool newborn chain mail vest was made by the same couple, as far as I know they're not taking orders being busy with their OWN wedding planning)

Methinks someone is just jealous that they're not cool enough to have a chain mail nursing bra & newborn layette, or the guts to wear AND use one. Wanker.






I'm also pretty sure I know who the WOMAN who reported the image is. A breeder who spends more time complaining than being a role model worthy of the title "mother", who told me to go fuck myself for standing up for a friend of mine when she went off on her.

Guess what?

Don't fuck with the lactivist in the chain mail nursing bra.

Or her friends.



Or Doctor Who fangirls.

Bebe Gras

So I've had this image in my head for a while and haven't found time to track down another mom to pose for me and wanted to just do it, so I had Garvin take this picture of me on January 27th to commemorate 7 months of nursing Del:



The beads are actually from New Orlean's Mardi Gras 2005, 2nd hand from one of Garvin's coworkers that year that earned them "the old fashioned way". I made the mask.

If anyone wants to model for a reshoot of this image with their own baby, I'd be happy to oblige - wound up doing a lot of cropping and the lighting wasn't to my liking because I couldn't exactly set it up properly before the picture was taken... as it is I'm sitting on Liam's sidecar bed, that's the bedroom wall behind me, so not too shabby of a picture after some photoshopping ;) I would have liked to have had more of Del's legs in the shot - he's got such lovely chunky thighs, at least you can see one, but his chubby little feet are so sweet! Ah, well, here's a picture with his foot (as well as mine and Liam's), the title of this one is "Our Best Feet Forward"




Speaking of feet, John Edwards, the candidate I was supporting the most whole-heartedly, has stepped off the campaign trail. Obama was always a close second to me, rising more every time I heard him actually speak about issues (instead of just vague ideas like "hope" which, while I appreciate, I need something more concrete from a candidate). I'm now joining Liam in his support of Obama.

WOOHOO! Med. exam mom won her appeal!

Congrats to Sophie Currier on winning her appeal (title is a link to the yahoo news story)! I'm so glad the appeals court judge gets it - accommodation to one issue (dyslexia/ADHD) doesn't preclude the need for accommodation for another (breastfeeding)... and shame on the medical examining board for discriminating against her in the first place, they should have gotten it without the need for a lawsuit. Hell, her pre-existing learning disabilities make her need for the extra break time INCREASE, not decrease - "oh, other breastfeeding mothers have taken the exam without needing extra break time" - yeah, but were they ALSO dyslexic and suffering from ADHD and needing extra testing time for those issues? If they're fast test-takers anyway, they probably made it through the test sections fast enough to go pump/pee/eat/whatever without NEEDING to ask for accommodations.

What if it'd been someone with dyslexia, ADHD, and fecal incontinence issues? Would the extra break time so they could change their undergarments on a regular basis have been questioned?

Go Sophie! Can't wait to see what advances in pathology you bring to the world, I have faith that you're going to go on to great work.

Breastfeeding in public

Probably getting more obsessed with this concept since I'll be doing it again so soon (when Liam could handle finger foods I "weaned" him from nursing in public because it was simply too hard on my arms/back, so it's been probably almost 2 years since I've nursed in public regularly). I was sorting through pictures to upload to our online photo gallery and came across many pictures of Liam nursing (gee, considering the percentage of his time he spent doing it, big surprise there). None of them have us covered, and the ones in public places you pretty much have to KNOW what you're looking for to realize what you're seeing (which is part of the argument I have with "certain people who shall remain nameless" about how "no one ever does THAT in the US" - yes, they do, you just look right past them without realizing it...)

So I ask you, which is more discreet... this type of breastfeeding in public:

(both of the above images are swiped from commercial websites wanting to sell you these nursing covers, which I have problems with on two counts - one, it furthers the idea that breastfeeding is something that should be hidden and hence bottlefeeding is more "convenient" and two, it's just another way to commercialize motherhood and make money off of people's insecurities, so I'm being evil and not linking to them. After looking through a few hundred results of google images for "breastfeeding blanket", "breastfeeding cover", and "breastfeeding drape" I couldn't find a SINGLE NON-COMMERCIAL PICTURE of a mother covering herself with a blanket to nurse - surprise surprise).

Or are these more discrete:

(funny, i think I'm wearing the same outfit both times, the first one he's less than a month old because that was when we still lived in Virginia, the second one he's about 2 months old at the Feast of the Assumption)

Yes, I'm using a sling in both pictures, which adds to the ease of being discrete, but I've shown an equal amount of skin when not using a sling, just can't find those pictures (the one that wound up in the Plain Dealer of me nursing Liam at the CWRU bookstore would be an example).

I swear I'm going to take one of the five trillion receiving blankets we have around here and write on it in big red letters "HEY LOOK I'M BREASTFEEDING!" and keep that in the diaper bag in case anyone gives me crap this time, see if that makes them more "comfortable".. or at least it'd be fun for a photo-op ;) I've got a couple lactivist pictures that I want to take floating in my mind as it is. I'll post them here when I do them (one of them will probably be in the coming weeks while I'm still pregnant).

Kudos to Target for being supportive of breastfeeding

I wanted to make this a separate post from the "baby stuff" one before, this is something that makes me so happy I'm actually tearing up a bit at the minute after having called Target's help line (for lack of another appropriate looking number) to say thanks directly. For once, I've found some major marketing from a large company that actually supports breastfeeding, mirroring their "actions" with their words/press releases... in fact, considering that particular press release said that women are welcome to breastfeed "discreetly" in their stores, I'd say this is actually even more progress since that press release (this part of the post has been edited).

As I mentioned in my last post, I created a Target registry for the Piglet. I don't remember them doing this when I was pregnant with Liam (though there was a LOT going on then so I may just have forgot), but this time around they handed me this really well printed full-color THICK catalog of baby gear with reminders of the "important" stuff to include on the registry. I got something similar from Babies R Us too, pretty standard. I shoved it into the bag of the few household items I'd picked up and took it home, intending to just let Liam look at the pictures of babies and such.

Well, I actually sat down and looked at it, and color me impressed. The first checklist in the catalog focuses on nursery stuff (crib, mattress, bedding, etc etc etc), but right there fourth from the bottom the Ahmie happiness starts: nursing pillow. Hmm. Cool to call it that instead of just "baby support pillow" or something a little more neutral. Moving on, two page full-color artistic spread of Boppy pillows on page 31, they say "feeding" without distinguishing which kind (and yes, Boppy pillows are wonderful for bottlefeeders too! They're one of my favorite baby items). Still happy Ahmie. A few pages down on pg 34 is that little padded "keep the comforter off the newborn" Close & Secure Sleeper, which makes nervous parents more comfortable with co-sleeping (which also helps with early breastfeeding) mixed in with the crib mattresses and such. Ok, flipping on... first time I spot a bottle, page 39 (also has a pacifier) mixed in with a bunch of baby clothes. No big, they're pretty ubiquitous in our culture, and plenty of breastfeeders have bottles also "just in case" or for when Mom's away (we have a stockpile, barely touched since Liam hated bottles). Another bottle isn't pictured until page 65, when it's used to illustrate a possible use of one of the pockets of a "behind the carseat" organizer (also shows a stuffed toy and a few other items in there). In the meantime, I have seen several happy looking children (with more racial diversity than you're likely to see outside of one of the big cities on the coast - the four parent/child pairs on page 55's baby carrier page has a Caucasian mom/baby, an Asian mom/baby, a medium complexion mom/baby that I think are Latinas, and an African-American DAD/baby - double kudos for showing an actively involved daddy, tho I do wish they had a little more sling and carrier style diversity... Mama really wants an Ergo but they're not available on any of the places I've seen baby registries, and the sling shown doesn't look terribly comfortable for mom... none of them are as easy for breastfeeding as a plain old ring sling, that's for sure). Oh, and mixed in with those happy, racially diverse children, there have been at least 3 sippy cups I've spotted between bottles... in other words, in a BABY registry, I've seen more sippy cups than bottles by the time I'm about halfway through the catalog. It gets better. Another little bottle is mixed in at the bottom of "stuff that fell out of the diaper bag" spread on pg 66 (understandable reference there), an inexplicable pacifier amongst a very creative display of what looks like playing cards showing off the "matching sets" (to show how you can have your play yard, stroller, carseat, baby swing, and high chair all color/pattern coordinate)... then it's on to baby toys, more pictures of happy pre-solids age racially diverse babies and a total lack of bottles in the pictures!

Another bottle isn't shown until pg 88, and in pride of place above the bottles is a (manual) breastpump. Yes, there are containers of formula on the same page (four of them, in fact, including two single-feeding bottles of Nestle Good Start Supreme), but the breastpump is sitting ON TOP of them, one of the formula bottles is on it's side... psychologically it conveys the idea that pumped milk is superior! In the checklist for the section, breast pump and nursing accessories are listed. formula is not!

It's here in the feeding section that I get really impressed. For starters try to help with picking bottles for people who plan to switch-feed (breast and bottle feeders) with sticking the Avent Naturally bottle in there (Avent claims that their silicone nipple mimics the shape and feel of the breast, which I don't entirely believe - Liam actually seemed to dislike silicone nipples and Avent and Playtex nipple shapes aren't all that different... most breasts I've seen are more shaped like the old-fashioned Playtex nipples than these over-rounded-edge ones they're selling now, but I don't have any memorable experiences of trying to nurse off a breast to compare nursing off a bottle with, maybe we can get a better product review from Liam someday). Following the two page spread of bottles is a two page spread of formulas (2 per page), pg 94 i a cluster of Nestle Good Start's various packaging (including showing how a bottle nipple fits directly on the probably 4oz bottles in the first picture that had the breastpump on top) and there's a powdered formula dispenser advertised with the bottles on page 95. Page 96 is the Enfamil spread,pg 98 is the Similac spread (including the Organic one front and center), various cute bibs with a bottle laying on one on the opposite page, then a 2 page spread of pacifiers (and I know plenty of breastfeeding moms that use those... Liam wouldn't use them consistantly until he was teething but boy did I wish he'd take one sometimes!).. then we're at the breastpumps. A page of "natural feeding 101" on page 102 gives an overview the different styles of pumps (single vs. double, manual vs. electric), the facing page has Medela supplies (including in pride of place the favorite pump of many of my nursing friends, the Medela Lug...er... Pump in Style at the standard price of $250, and the new Medela Swing that actually has me intrigued, but not intrigued enough to spend $150 when I have other pumps that I know work for me already). Turn the page and you get a two-page spread of Avent pumps, the manual ISIS on the left and the motorized ISIS iQ Uno and iQ Duo on the right), along with breast pads, microwave sterilizer, Avent-brand bottles and another inexplicable pacifier *shrug*. Next page has the pump that I actually own - it's rebranded by Lansinoh, but that's the Ameda Purely Yours in a different color (I bought mine off the lactation consultant when Liam was born) along with more storage supplies, creams and nursing pads, with the Evenflo Comfort Select dual on the opposite page (I haven't looked at it in more than 2 years but I *think* the other pump I bought was the single-side version of that pump, once I figured out I was doing most of my pumping while nursing on the other side and having the motor attached was easier to deal with than juggling baby, touch-the-breast pump bits, and motor somewhere off to the side usually on the floor). Next page is the Playtex double electric pump, with the First Years models (a double electric and a manual) on the facing page, then we're on to the diapering section.

So did you catch it? It's hard to keep count, I know, but tabulating the above that means that branded formula appeared on six pages (seven pages if you count the formula dispensor - it has powder in the chamber but no brand indicated), including the first picture that had the pump on top of the formula). Breastpumps appeared (including the first picture with the formula and the drawn illustrations of the differences between pumps) on NINE PAGES! They actually gave more "screen time" to breastpumps than they did to formula manufacturers! OH MY GOODNESS THIS IS PROGRESS! Yes, there are lots of pictures of bottles with white liquid in them, but the only time that you KNOW it's formula in there are in the two pictures that have a label on them (forgot to mention that Enfamil had their single-serve bottles pictured too). For all we know (and especially since I'm a photographer myself), it could be diluted white glue in the bottles (that's what they usually use in the pictures on cereal boxes, in case you didn't know - real milk isn't high enough viscosity to hold the "pose").

The cherry on top? In 125+ pages, there's not a SINGLE IMAGE of a baby and a bottle on the same PAGE, much less of a baby drinking from a bottle.

We've come a long way, babies.

Next step, I'd love to see a picture of a mom actually USING one of the nursing pillows, in one of the gliders they sell, with baby's face snuggled to her chest, shirt tucked in for modesty is fine (heck, that's how *I* nurse at home to minimize the blood loss from little nails!). Which just made something else occur to me - even tho I've seen them for sale in the stores, those silly nursing cape things to "discreetly nurse" weren't advertised in the book! Oh, and they could start carrying non-pajama nursing tops... and advertise nursing bras in the catalog too... those would be nice additions ;)

Feel the same way? Here's the number I called to say thank you (it's the registry help line, couldn't find another more appropriate number and the lady said she's able to send the message along easily - they're so happy to get compliments instead of complaints, it makes a Customer Service Rep's day, I speak from experience here). The number is 800-888-9333, select baby registries (I think 2 in the prompt) then 0 for an operator. They'll ask you specifics about whose registry when you're first connected to a human, but you can probably just tell them that you're calling with a general compliment about their registry process or something (I did tell them my name and let them look up my registry since I have one currently). The more compliments they get, the more likely they are to keep up the good work and even take further steps!

History of artificial baby feeding

This topic seems to come up with unnerving frequency among the lactivist community, and there is a lot of misinformation going out about how long artificial baby feeding has been going on - most people think it's a post-WWII societal issue, hand-in-hand with the increase in births occurring in hospitals. Yes, it increased then and breastfeeding rates dropped, but we also have better statistics across social classes in the 20th century. Furthering the misperception that breastfeeding was the way ALL babies were fed prior to the 20th century keeps us from looking at this important factor in infant and maternal mortality rates of our foremothers. Only the wealthy could generally afford a true full-time wet nurse (to the detriment of that woman's own nursling, supposing she hadn't already weaned her baby, since it doesn't seem common to allow the wet nurse to bring her own infant along on the job and tandem nurse the two), though informal cross-nursing (nursing mothers sharing the "duty" of feeding their infants so that one could go do something else for a while) has been going on most likely since before we evolved into humans (it's a common primate practice when there are 2 or more lactating females available to care for the infants).

Lack of breastfeeding, especially in the first few days, is detrimental to the mother in many ways - the act of IMMEDIATELY breastfeeding after birth encourages uterine contractions that help prevent hemorrhage, helps shrink the uterus quickly, encourages the ongoing release of hormones to facilitate bonding, relieve pain and promote rest via continued release of ocytocin, and on and on. There are "traditional" societies even today that discourage women from feeding their newborns their colostrum, believing it to be worthless until the "real milk" comes in, and proscribe waiting 5 days before feeding the infant from the breast, substituting various alternatives (many of which contain honey) to keep the baby hydrated instead. This was (and still is) common practice in parts of India. What effect does this have on infant mortality? Maternal hemorrhage? Successful initiation of breastfeeding, when the baby has been allowed to feed from a non-breast for the first 5 days? Doesn't take much to figure out the effect on all these rates might be, especially now when "modern alternatives" are so widely available and socially acceptable. But when women hand off their babies to be fed other than at their own breasts from birth, they increase both the infant and maternal rates of early postpartum complications. And when new mothers aren't supported in their efforts and struggles to nurse their newborns, they're set up for depression over their supposed "failure" - a failure that is more due to our society than anything to do with the mother. Pushing women to not nurse openly and publicly places further barriers to the natural learning of how to accomplish the task in those first early days, as much as lack of availability of profession lactation consultants (not that both groups don't sometimes give misguided or downright wrong advice - it happens, but I believe it's less likely than misinformation coming from anyone without firsthand experience at nursing, regardless of gender).

Before the 20th century we can just make presumptions based mostly upon bodies in cemeteries/mummies/etc about how many babies died at which ages in which social classes (death records are not nearly as common for anyone below upper middle class prior to the industrial revolution, especially outside of urban centers). Not the best data collection method by any stretch of the imagination. Some of these early deaths do include clues as to infant feeding method (ancients tended to bury feeding containers with the infants that weren't breastfed). There are surviving medical advice documents from ancient times that talk about when infants should be weaned, how often they should be fed, etc. So it's not just modern morons encouraging mothers to put their babies on feeding schedules, to watch the clock instead of the baby. They have a long, sordid history of giving this shoddy advice - surprising that it's mostly from males who were probably not even nearby when their own children were being nursed.

Artificial infant feeding is much MUCH older than 50 years. The Sears catalog from 1897 contained at least 8 different brands of artificial baby milk. There are infant feeding artifacts left over from the ancient Greeks. Wet nursing wasn't the only way a baby would survive, but it definitely gave the kid a better chance of survival (in the Victorian era only 20% of infants made it to their 2nd birthday, one wonders how many of those deaths were due to not being breastfed combined with other factors of Victorian life). These are facts that I've researched in the past when people have tried to tell me how dangerous childbearing is because our ancestors DIED in childbirth. I point out that sanitation has never been as good as it is now and a great many of the "ancestors" who were well off enough to get their statistics recorded (not mine, I'm of peasant stock!) were handing off their babies to be fed elsewhere so they could get pregnant again ASAP (and deplete their bodies' nutrient supplies, not letting their uterus have a rest, etc etc etc - the risks of frequent, rapid-fire childbearing are well known to anyone who has dealt with breeding any species of mammal). Of course, young mothers did die, for various reasons (not all associated directly with childbirth) and other ways of feeding their infant if no other lactating woman was nearby had to be devised. Our ancient ancestors were ingenious, just as we are. The infant found in the group of bodies called the Cherchen Mummies has an artificial infant feeder buried with it, the baby has been dead for 3,000 years. The family is presumed to be nomads (they have Caucasian features though they died in China) and it's postulated that the mother died before the infant did.

Here are some online references:
early infant feeders - http://www.babybottle-museum.co.uk/the%20early%20feeders.htm
Ted Greiner's Breastfeeding History - http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Spa/3156/history.htm (hate using Geocities references but it's the version available online)
An article about Cherchen mummies - http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qn4158/is_20060828/ai_n1669651


Oops.. I think my sociology degree is showing ;) Darnit I want to go to graduate school already! *sigh* Kids first, academia later.