Overwhelmed Juggler (original poem)

I have too many balls in the air
and no idea how to juggle
more like I'm playing dodge ball with myself
Hands over head, don't I even bother to struggle
As another ball pelts and makes a welt.

(Another one written on my bberry while on a Migun bed. No I am NOT bipolar)

Having a bad day

D was up every 2 hours last night so I slept like crap. Then woke up to find the stiffly nose from yesterday had morphed into a sinus cavity full of bloody snot. Yum. Not moving around so well from sleeping poorly so barely got self & kids out of the house in time to get L to school, thank goodness no call for carpoolling the other kid this morning. Drank a cup of coffee at home then got a medium McDonald's coffer, now sipping on a tall mocha espresso from Starbucks trying to stay conscious until L is out of school (t minus 15 minutes, I'm sitting in the van in the school parking lot typing this on my bberry). Sinus pain is worse to me than labor pain (but then again, so is about 80% of the pain I experience on a weekly basis). Am very grumpy. D passed out in his carseat about 10min ago just before I determined Starbucks was needed.

I'm frustrarted by how little got done around the house this weekend. The place is rarely tidy - I'd love it to be but just don't have the physical stamina and refuse to constantly clean up after my husband, especially because I don't want my sons to grow up expecting a woman to clean up after them. Then when I think like that I gett really grouchy at my MIL for fosyreing that unconscious expectation in my hubby (she still does it, then criticizes me for not cleaning like she does).

I decided I need to do something proactive about getting more organized because the chaos is just stressing me out too much, so I'm listening to David Allen's "Getting Things Done" on the speaker of my phone while writing this. I think a good plan might be to listen to it again after every other audiobook I listen to so as to get more constant reminders. And/or I might just make myself (and hubby) listen to it at night (I do not sleep well in too quite environments - too much time in bad neighborhoods as a kid gets my brain to interpret every little sound as a possible intruder, trying to wean off TV on all night and can't sleep with music on either as it just makes me twitchy). Garvin can use the tips too anyway.

Kids coming out of school more later.

My Own Midwife (original poem)

I will midwife my self
Reach inside and bring a new me to birth
Shape my own world so different from Earth
With eyes open wide and glowing with worth
Life flowing on with rapturous mirth

I will find sustainance within my own breast
Rise above the sludge that mires the rest
I'll filter the toxic and consume the best
Always preparing for what will come next

(composed on my BlackBerry while using a Migun
thermo-massage bed after putting an audiobook
on pause first - I am the queen of multitasking!
This IS how I relax.)