OK... I know not many people read this thing, and the one person I know does read it regularly doesn't yet have a kiddo of her own, but I think she's got enough experience with AP-style parents to be a reliable check-in on this.
So anyway, I've found out about a Harry Potter "organization" that is Ohio-specific. I'm very interested, being a complete and total Potterhead and loving to discuss all things in the Potterverse for hours at a stretch. Here's the catch. They're exclusively 18 and up, as in not even allowed to bring a nursling (and yes, Liam's still nursing every few hours, even tho he'll eat any solid food that stays in his reach long enough - he'll eat a stomach full of solid foods, then want mama for desert, so he's still nursing at least 6 times a day, from my estimates of actual nursings, not just quick sips. Oh, and yes, he'll drink water or any other liquid too, but that doesn't make him want to nurse less either. I'm not exactly trying to push him away from the breast tho, it doesn't bother me one whit that he wants to keep nursing so much, though it does make it difficult to be out and about with him as my back can't tollerate nursing him in a sling anymore, I only use carriers that go over both shoulders now). To put a cherry on top of their "absolutely no one under 18" stance, none of their gatherings scheduled through the rest of the year are any closer than Columbus (which is 2 hours' drive away, meaning a minimum of 4 hours spent away from Liam just *driving* to and from the event, in addition to spending enough time at the event to make a drive that long feel "worth it").
When I've tried to inquire about how hard-set this policy is, I've been informed by the moderators that it's pretty much a hard-and-fast rule (while I've also noticed that more than 80% of the moderators are too young to remember the Smurfs) and the reaction of other parents on the forum has been of the lines of "I need a place where I can get away from my kid(s)" and implying a feeling that something is "wrong" with me that I don't feel this need to be away from my child. I have no knowledge regarding the nursing status of the other small children in the families involved, much less their parenting style (tho I have specified that we practice attachment parenting). Especially with Garvin working such long hours, I have ZERO desire for any social time that does not include him, and he doesn't have a desire to have social time that doesn't involve Liam since he's already missed so much time with him thanks to not having an assistant manager and getting sucked into working 50-60 hour weeks just to keep the grouphome running. And, add to that that we're planning to try to concieve kid #2 around this time next year, which means small bladder while pregnant making long trips annoying, not being a good idea to travel that far in later pregnancy, and then dealing with a newborn exclusively nursing (and the next one I think I'm just going to not bother with ANY bottles at ALL unless one of us winds up hospitalized or something... just really wasn't worth the bother with Liam and it just seemed to annoy him anyway... I give people the analogy of having a wonderful lasagna - would you rather eat it off of fine china plates, sitting at a table surrounded by the people you love best.... or standing up off of a flimsy paper plate from the dollar store? That seems to be about the degree of comparision my son would make between breastmilk from the source or from ANY other container.)... I'm feeling a fairly strong urge to just be a bit pissy and go off and create a group that trusts parents to know their children's interests, attention spans, and ability to annoy the crap out of other people well enough to determine if they should come to a Harry Potter discussion group, and that trusts that anyone READING a BOOK MARKETED TO CHILDREN doesn't hate being AROUND children!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
sorry for all the caps... feeling a bit annoyed about this.
So, the question is... am I nuts that I don't feel the need to be away from my almost 15 month old son for more than a couple hours at a stretch? Am I being overly and unhealthily attached that the idea of being away from him for more than the length of a movie is a bit... disturbing for lack of a better word? I've left him with Garvin or my mother or another friend for various periods of time to go run errands and such, indeed I was away from him for almost 3 hours tonight for a worship associate meeting at church (Garvin watched him). I made sure my cell phone was charged and in my pocket, but I didn't even call to tell him I was on my way home (even tho last night Liam went into a screaming fit after a diaper change and refused to be calmed by Daddy, calming to hiccupping sobs as soon as I took him in my arms). It's not a matter of distrust in others to take care of the kid (tho I am nervous about him at my mom's for extended periods because he's such a climber and gets into EVERYTHING and her place is FAR from even the basics of babyproofing), as long as there isn't another kid around for him to bite (yes, he's still a little vampire, tho he's learned not to bite adults as much... I'm reluctant to have him around other people's kids as he's gone to bite every time except once recently). It's really a matter of just not feeling *right* when I'm away from him for more than a few hours. The longest we've been apart since he was born was for about 5 hours, a couple months ago, when he was in the care of Garvin while I went to a worship associate training thing and there was a communications breakdown with Garvin running errands and not realizing that I was home in some discomfort from mild engorgement. That definately felt like "too long" then, and I think it still would now. I'm getting to the point where I wouldn't mind a "date" with my husband, without the kid, but it's definately not a need to be away from Liam so much as a desire to focus on us for a bit. Tho what we'd actually do with ourselves, I'm not sure right now (don't really want to be spending money on frivalities, I'm not physically up to just going to the park or something else "free").
So, am I weird even by AP standards? Or is my impression that this is a cultural construct of our society, creating artificial and unhealthy distance between family members by emphasis on our "needs" to be "apart" a sane thought to have?
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