Pregnancy stuff

Well, Clare's creating a Blessingway for me based upon a book our family doctor lent us (Clare sees the same doctor, we love you Dr. Jenny - you're so cool!). As she's been telling folks about it (it's the afternoon of June 2nd at our place - if you know where I live, are reading this, and didn't get an invite, consider yourself invited - not that many people actually read this thing!) they've been asking about gifts. I had explicitly said that I don't expect gifts in the traditional "baby shower" sense, but apparently people REALLY like shopping for babies so I broke down and did a baby registry. Then I did two more. So if you're wondering what kind of things we actually need for this second baby, you can find the registries on Babies R Us, Target, and Amazon.com. The thing that really got me to make the registries wasn't so much expecting people to get things for us, but because BRU and Target both give 10% off items you purchase for yourself off the registry around when the baby is born, and Amazon is having a special going on until the 31st that if you create a registry with 15 or more items and keep it there for at least 2 weeks, they'll send you a coupon code for 25% off one item shipped from Amazon.com. Since they also have the best price by at least $30 on the swing we'd like for downstairs, and free shipping (and no sales tax since they're not in Ohio), I'm planning to use the coupon for that and basically get it half off MSRP. It'll probably be what the baby sits in while I eat dinner, at least while it's small (because eating with a sling on, while possible, isn't fun to do on a daily basis). We have a similar (though more brightly colored) version of that swing that I got at a garage sale when Liam was small and it was the only swing he'd consistently tolerate for more than 5min (frequently he'd start fussing and I'd switch it to swing the other way - front-back or side-to-side - and the change in direction would buy me a few more minutes to finish the dishes or something).

If you want a fun guessing game to play, go check out the Target registry and try to figure out how the items relate to the baby/birth. I swear they all do ;) Even the toilet seat. Seriously, if anyone is feeling a little Fred & George Weasley moment coming on, I really would like the toilet seat as a gift. And not just because of the glee I'd take writing into the baby book in the "gifts received" section!

Clare asked me if I'm afraid of anything with this pregnancy... honestly, in the traditional "what if" list, there's really nothing that has me worried. I'm convinced that anything that might happen in this pregnancy wouldn't have been prevented by my going a different route (well, ok, I *could* be eating better... I had more than 3 servings of ice cream yesterday because the temperature was close to 90 and Garvin's not got the window AC installed yet.. then I had a plain donut and a half for breakfast this morning... urg). The whole home or hospital thing really doesn't factor into it, and the decision to birth at home has nothing to do with my needle phobia (tho it's nice to not even have to worry about someone running interference with the hospital staff this time around). It's really based upon logical conclusions (not even really emotions, tho they factor in) that home is the best place for a healthy mother to birth a healthy baby. My tumbleblog has links to the online research I've done, plus I've done a lot of "paper reading"... there is no conclusive evidence anywhere that birthing at a hospital is safer for moms or babies (the research that says otherwise counts as "intentional home births" babies born in cabs on the way to the hospital and teenagers who give birth at prom and put their babies in the dumpster - no, I'm not kidding, they just looked at birth certificate data that indicated the location of birth and the mom/baby's condition when the certificate data was submitted, it's a really horribly designed piece of "research").

Really, the only thing that I'm REALLY afraid of is going into labor and having no one available to watch Liam. My father-in-law is NOT an option (his lack of childcare skills and a few other concerns prevent me from fully relaxing when he's taking care of Liam - I only ask him to watch Liam when there is no other option, but if I can't relax enough to *nap* while he's watching the child downstairs because I'm too wound up, how am I supposed to *birth* if he's the only one watching Liam?). My real deepest fear with this pregnancy is that I'll go into precipitous (translation: fast) labor before school is out, home alone with Liam and my father-in-law, and wind up calling 911 just to have ANYONE ELSE to deal with Liam while I birth the baby (I'd sooner catch it myself with paramedics in attendance than go into a germy ambulance to a germy hospital and have to lay flat on my back on a germy gurney). As long as Garvin's home, I can climb in the tub and slow down labor the same way I did with Liam when the CNM was busy with other patients (I swear, I would have birthed within an hour or so of arriving at the Loudoun Birthing Inn if she'd stayed in the room, and the only thing that held off the dialation was being in the tub) until the midwife, grandmothers, and other invited guests arrive to help with things. None of the currently "yes, please I'd like to be there" folks is more than a 30min drive and all have cell phones (Sabrina, do you want to be called since obviously Kathryn and I no longer run the risk of laboring within days of each other? Not sure I'd be able to hold off for you to get here if I labor as quick after it becomes conclusively labor since 2nd babies usually go quicker than first, but I'd love to have you present again if you want to be).

That's really the only thing that worries me. Not shoulder dystocia (way to resolve that=get mama to change positions), not cord around the neck (summersault the baby out through the cord, don't cut the cord until after the placenta is born so the baby gets extra oxygenated blood), not even cord prolapse (which considering how low this baby is riding already, it's unlikely to be an issue, especially since no one will be breaking my water early for me... but if it DID happen somehow, elevate my butt and get me the 3 blocks to the hospital) or placental abruption (can happen just as easily in the hospital, in fact with pitocin it's more likely and pitocin isn't administered in homebirths). We're litterally 5 minutes, door to door, from the hospital - I'd be there faster than the doctor would be, and if we suspected any SERIOUS problems we'd call so they'd be getting ready while we were on our way there. Maternal hemorrage is extremely unlikely in an intervention-free birth (especially when no one messes with the umbilical cord until after the placenta is born and baby starts breastfeeding immediately), but same issue that we could be at the hospital in plenty of time for them to deal with it if the first steps (abdominal massage, compression, etc) weren't immediately effective, and the "first aid" for it can be continued while I'm in the minivan on the way to the hospital anyway.

Really, I'm not feeling afraid of issues that are just birth related... I'm worried about issues that I face because I'm a stay-at-home mom to a toddler, and I don't know my neighbors as well as I think I should. These issues are resolvable, and I plan to work on getting to know my neighbors better in the next week, so I can ask them to help in case I *do* go into labor while home alone. Then I really will be pretty much fearless about this pregnancy/birth. I think a lot of people that I tell that I'm absolutely not afraid of giving birth think I'm either ignorant of all the things that "can go wrong" or that I'm planning to get an epidural as soon as I'm 3cm dialated or something. Others hear I'm planning a homebirth and assume that I'm doing it based upon touchy-feely/anti-establishment "reasons" and occassionally try to talk me out of it (not kidding) for the "sake of the baby" or say "don't be a martyr" (those ones only happen when Liam isn't underfoot demanding Mama's attention, as when he's underfoot it's really easy to point out that I've already done this unmedicated once). I'm truly more comfortable with the idea of an unassisted (meaning: no midwife present, not entirely alone!) birth than I am with a hospital birth in my situation. If we really do wind up having 5 kids (which is the number *I* think I want, Garvin says 3), I wouldn't be suprised if at least one of them wound up arriving before the midwife did, intentionally or not. Main problem is the difficulty of seeing what I'm doing and Garvin not being entirely sure of what he's doing (tho that'll change after this birth - sometimes he listens TOO well to me, I *ment* I didn't want him staring at my crotch and forgetting the rest of me existed when Liam was born, not that he wasn't allowed to so much as GLANCE DOWN as our child emerged from my body!).

Now if it would just go back to temps in the upper 60s/lower 70s... *pant* And I think I've consumed too much calcium, keep getting a shin splint in my left leg and it's sending pain all the way up to the groin on that side... not fun. But also not necessarily 100% pregnancy related.