Umm... oops again

Yeah, I'm non-linear. Oops. I'm also pregnant again, found out not long after posting my last post... so I'm 34+ weeks now. Baby is due on Thanksgiving Day (US). I'm also in graduate school. So my brain is mostly elsewhere. People keep poking me to blog more. I'm trying, but highly distractable and other priorities on my plate. Feel free to look through the archives. I'll TRY to remember to post here when the baby is born at least ;)

edit: he was born, he is great, still busy as all get-out. All but thesis on the Master's. If all goes according to plan (still waiting on IRB approval for my survey so twitching) I'll get my MA diploma handed to me the day before Mother's Day. Probably with my then-5 month old in a carrier under my graduation robes. He's a very healthy eater (been putting on around half a pound per week, now edging on 16lbs at 14 weeks old) so I can't be away from him (exclusively breastfeeding) as long as commencement excercises generally take. Life with four sons is never dull... so lacking in dullness that we switched almost entirely to ballpoint pens so they don't poke an eye out.

Mr. Limbaugh, I am not a slut for using contraceptives

I am a woman who planned her family carefully, so that we would not be an undue burden on society when my husband and I chose to have children. We had been married for almost 4 years before our first child was conceived, and have been together very exclusively for nearly 16 years. How long has your most recent marriage lasted, sir?

Your non-apology is not acceptable. You repeatedly point out your "problem" with insurance paying for contraceptives, medication that has many other usages other than simply preventing pregnancy. Where is your outrage over the same insurance companies (who often do NOT cover contraceptive medications) offering unquestioned coverage of medications the sole purpose of which is to make MALE reproductive organs behave in a different way than nature is directing them to? Why is Viagra OK for the rest of us to pay for, but not contraceptives? The ripple effect costs of Viagra are MUCH higher, in fact - since it increases the chances of the female partner becoming pregnant, thus putting the insurance company (or Medicaid) on the hook for prenatal care, childbirth expenses, and the associated costs of that new human being. This is why, when all is accounted for, the insurance companies actually really don't have a problem with footing the bill for contraceptives - it SAVES them money. It saves ALL of us money, when there are not more unhealthy, unwanted pregnancies happening in our country - that result in medical complications and births that the state and/or other hospital users wind up bearing the costs of instead. In my own state, about half of all births are paid for by Medicaid last I looked. If a laboring woman goes to a hospital without insurance, they can't turn her away so they wind up writing off the cost of the birth - by passing on the expense via increasing the costs of other hospital services that people who CAN pay need. We all lose.

I am also asking anyone who reads this to not send me any gifts from ProFlowers until they pull their advertising from Mr. Limbaugh's show, and advising that you think hard about whether to use their service at all with others whom you'd like to send a gift in the near future. When contacted regarding the controversy, they have been sending the following robo-reply email (I verified it is verbatum what others have posted):

Thank you for your feedback. We spend our advertising dollars across a wide spectrum of media channels. The views and opinions of the media outlets and personalities we advertise with are not necessarily those of our company.

We simply wish to delight our customers with fresh and unique gifting products, and that will continue to happen to the best of our abilities.

My response:

If the views and opinions of the media personalities are not in line with those of your company, then I respectfully ask that you cease advertising during their show. If anyone sends me flowers from ProFlowers before you cease advertising on that vile man's show, I will refuse delivery. As far as I'm concerned, you're as effectively calling women who use contraceptives prostitutes as he is, and that does NOT make me want flowers with your logo on it. Being treated to gender slurs for expecting that insurance companies that cover medication for erectile dysfunction will also cover medications that benefit WOMEN'S reproductive organs is NOT something that "delights" me, and until your company ceases advertising with the spewer of such vileness, I will envision your logo on Rush Limbaugh's face every time I see it. While that may be a UNIQUE image, it is not fresh nor delightful.

I encourage all of you to push companies you do business with to have the courage of their convictions, and ask them to find better ways than hatemongers to promote their goods and services.

Nutella Perogi Recipe from my mom (per request)

My mom was saying something about tomorrow (Sunday, 5 Feb 2012) being National Nutella Day or something and she had created this recipe that is greatly enjoyed a while ago. She doesn't have a blog so when she mentioned on Facebook wanting to participate, I offered to post it on mine. Any questions will need to be directed to her, as I've not made pierogi since I lived with her almost 15 years ago and really don't remember.

Nutella Perogi

2 cups flour
1 egg
1/2 cup warm milk (add a teaspoon of margarine and sour cream)
Nutella
Large pan of boiling water
Small dish with water to use to seal dough

In a bowl add 2 cups flour, make a well, add the egg and mix well with fork.

Microwave the milk with margarine and sour cream in it for about one minute.

Slowly add the milk mixture to the flour first working it with a fork then your hands till it forms a ball and then knead and work with it so it's not too gooey or dry. Add either more flour or liquid to get the right consistency. Let stand for 20 minutes.

On a floured surface take a piece of dough and roll out. Use a round cutter about 3 1/2 inches in diameter and cut out circles.

In the middle of the circle place a small spoon of Nutella. Moisten the edge of the circle with water using your finger and fold dough in half. You must do this so when you fold the dough in half so it will stick together. Make several at a time and place in boiling water. When they rise to the surface they are done. Take out and drain.

They are now ready to be fried and top with margarine and sour cream. Enjoy.

Forecast (original poem)

I'm pissed, so I'm obsessively writing poetry. Some people I'm not sure I'll ever be able to really, fully forgive for how much they've hurt me over the last six months have had me crying for the four or five hours off and on. I hate crying (for myself, not others), it gives me nasty headaches. Add to it that I feel entirely stabbed in the back by one individual in particular and I'm in a bit of a rage that means I'm probably back to the insomnia that I had last week that I had JUST gotten back into some measure of control in the last two days. And it appears it was for nothing, because the jerks are going to get their way. People in positions of authority took their word over mine even though they easily verifiable mislead those authority figures. I'm not going to stop fighting this injustice, but I will NOT be engaging in this process that has been used to abuse me so thoroughly for the last several months. I wrote the following poem in reaction, if I continue to be unable to sleep I'll try working on my novel (which these asshats have distracted me from nearly every available minute I've had to work on for the last six months. I had PLANNED to have the first draft around 80,000 words done by Halloween. Because of them I barely touched it after September and I haven't written a word in it from what I can remember of the last two months.). Fuck you, gaslighters. I'm taking myself back.

Forecast

I’m not as sexy as an earthquake
or tsunami
you got me
coming at you like a hurricane
it’s all the same
no fancy telethon
to bring it on
all the sympathy
empathy
what I need
is nothing like you’ve ever seen.
Watch your step
I’ll bring you down
so much bigger on the inside
I reside
bide
my time is ticking away
yesterday
came too soon
predictable as the moon
and yet still I’m stunned
by the stab to my back
debris flying everywhere
no one cares
catch the flack
zooming past
like my son
moving on
can be done
or so I’m told
as I linger on
suffering prolonged
wonder why
I
don’t
say
good
bye.


aadpy201202010047

Uproar over new Lego Friends sets

So, I've been hearing (well, mostly reading online.. and making myself) a lot of fussing especially from mostly Adult Fans of Lego (aka AFOL) about the new Lego brand "Friends" line that is targeted specifically at girls (read what you may into the fact that my biggest problem with it is NOT the gender stereotyping of the activities presented - my biggest issue has to do with functionality of the humanoid figurines. I've always been much more of a nerd than a feminist.). Even given that, I was still surprised to get the following email from change.org - and really bothered by the level of inaccuracy in the claims they make about the product. It concerns me because now I will be questioning the veracity of the claims they make about much more important issues than children's toys (though, as a sociologist-in-training specifically interested in child development and symbolic interactionism, toys are a VERY important issue to me - ESPECIALLY those that are targeted specifically to one traditional stereotype subset of gender).

The text of the email was:

Tell LEGO: Stop marketing sexist toys to girls Dear Ahmie, Iconic toy brand LEGO recently launched a new line of toys meant just for girls -- but two young women, Bailey Shoemaker-Richards and Stephanie Cole, think the products are unfairly "dumbed down" for girls. The new line is called LadyFigs, and it's made up ofbusty, pastel-colored figurines that come with interests like shopping, hair-dressing, and lounging at the beach. The uninspired toys even come with pre-assembled environments -- so there is no assembly (or imagination) required. Bailey and Stephanie say they're frustrated that LEGO is pushing outdated gender roles on girls and cheating them of the opportunity to build and discover. So they took to the internet, blogging about what they call the new "Barbielicious" LEGOs andpetitioning the toy company to lose the sexist LadyFigs line and go back to empowering both boys and girls with its original products. Click here to sign Bailey and Stephanie's petition today. LEGO hasn't always thought its toys were only for boys. In the 1980s, the company was actually celebrated for a major advertising campaign that spotlighted a young girl and her LEGO creation with the tagline "What it is is beautiful." But since then, LEGO reversed course and decided to market its products only to boys. The company claims its research shows girls just don't appreciate the original LEGO line. But Bailey and Stephanie argue that with LEGO's renewed emphasis on boys -- featuring only boys in its ads and stocking products in the boys' aisles of toy stores -- it's no wonder young girls wouldn't think LEGOs were meant for them. Bailey and Stephanie's fight to get LEGO to return to its gender-neutral toys is already making waves, with the Wall Street Journal, New York Times, and Time weighing in on the issue. But LEGO is stubbornly holding its ground and told Business Week that the LadyFigs launch is a "strategic" move to "reach the other 50 percent of the world's children," as if girls have never been part of LEGO's focus. Public pressure can prove LEGO wrong. If enough people sign Bailey and Stephanie's petition, it could convince LEGO that the new LadyFigs are bad business and the company should return its focus to empowering boys AND girls with toys that inspire creativity and innovation. Tell LEGO to stop selling out girls -- sign Bailey and Stephanie's petition today. Thanks for being a change-maker, - Shelby and the Change.org team

My reply (which I suspect may have gone to an unmonitored email address - I didn't research who to reach Shelby specifically yet and am unlikely to get a chance to tonight - hopefully I will remember to do so tomorrow) was:

I don't know if this message will ever be read, but I feel the need - as an Adult Female Fan of Legos and mother of three sons ages 7 and under, to clarify some inaccuracies in your email.

First, the sets do NOT come pre-assembled. Basic investigation reveals that they are full of standard bricks in addition to the human-esque figurine. The other parts are standard Lego products, and work fine with any of the other sets they've made in the last 30 years and beyond for the most part. The tools are the same size as standard minifig tools, in fact most of them are actually from the same molds as long-existing parts, just in new colors. The $10 sets have about 80 pieces each, of which only four are the humanoid figurine. Many AFOL (Adult Fans of Lego - gender neutral but mostly males) plan to buy the sets and get rid of the dolls, because the sets themselves are actually quite a nice assortment of parts. The Cafe set will be finding its way into our own expansive Lego village. These sets actually have more complex builds than many of the sets targeted to boys or gender-neutral over the years (many of which are in our own large personal Lego collection). For instance, the Harry Potter series sets often had large prefab wall pieces that offer much less repurposing flexibility than what is in much of these sets (though as a caveat: that's not apples-to-apples entirely, as I have not had chance to examine the most expensive set currently on offer on the Friends line - the house may have the same pre-fab walls like much of the Castle/Kingdom/Harry Potter sets used; I can't tell from pictures). They are comparable in complexity, from all appearances, with the currently offered Superheros line Lego is offering.

Secondly, Lego refers to them as "mini-dolls" not "LadyFigs".

Third, this is just the first few sets to come out. Barbie didn't become a doctor or an astronaut for a LONG time after she hit shelves, I would predict that Lego will be having its Friends in space much sooner (and the new Series 6 Collectible Minifig set features a female surgeon along with the uber-pink blond-bombshell-in-space that I affectionately refer to as "astrobimbo"... baby steps, I guess...). Given that Lego is headquartered in a country that is lightyears ahead of the US in pretty much every indicator of social inequalities (I say this as a sociologist-in-training), I trust them to advance the cause of women pretty rapidly. The "Olivia" character seems a pretty competent budding scientist with a well-stocked personal lab (including microscope) in which she appears to have built her own robot, "Mia" with a little imagination becomes an animal rights activist, and "Emma" has a nice complex design studio that is NOT dumbed-down (yes, she appears to be designing fashions, but swap out the "whiteboard" piece - it is a standard shape available without the printing on it - and she could be a budding architect with the rest of the stuff in the $10 set... this would be the ONE time I am sorry to NOT have had a sticker instead of a pre-printed brick come out of the box).

As for Lego being in the "boys" part of stores, every Target and Toys R Us I have been in in the last decade has a "Lego aisle" (if not several) that has nothing but Lego products, many of which I, as a female, have considered as interesting as my husband and other Lego fans in my social circles have.

I do not hold Lego innocent in this at all - I am actually working on an academic research project that will hopefully be a published academic journal article about what I believe are the REAL roots of the "lack of affection" girls have for the standard minifigs - number one problem being the horrible gender imbalance in the Lego Minifig population (it's less than 20% female, and the female offerings generally are not as interesting and detailed as the average for the male offerings). I do believe Lego made many missteps in this new Friends line. I am severely irritated that they have less articulation in their joints than the minifigures do (their wrists don't turn, their legs don't move independently, and they can't lean backwards - I do not believe that evolution should reduce functionality) and the shape of the feet is problematic with positioning in relation to built components on baseplates, and they can't sit on the studs/pegs of the bricks and be locked into position like the minifigs can - all of these are functional design problems that they should have solved before going to market if they wanted to prevent the severe negative response they've gotten.

My personal opinion is that the company AND consumer base would have been better served by first bringing the standard minifig population into gender-balance via offering all-female minifig packs (similar to how they offer "battle packs" for various lines), making some new female face and torso designs, and releasing those as well as the already-available minifig hair pieces in every color option through their online pick-a-brick store at minimum (as a box set assortment similar to they have done with "community workers" and the "fairytale figures" sets for retail shelf purchase would be a good move too). THEN work on evolving the minifig - taller, rounder, more humanly shaped like the mini-dolls without losing the functionality of the minifigs, ESPECIALLY if it meant they didn't look somewhat anorexic (I do commend them on giving the mini-dolls a more realistic breast size than many other dolls-with-breasts on the market over the years, but those arms are scary-skinny in relation to the hand size, and the skinniness of the arms is why the physics of a functional wrist don't work). It is the lack of functionality that makes these mini-dolls less appealing to my 7 year old son (who, when given free reign to build three minifigs for $10 at our local Lego store generally goes for female minifig parts without prompting since he knows intuitively that he doesn't have as many of those as the male parts on offer). When looking at the Friends sets on the shelves at our local Target, once he realized they were actually Lego products (he was more confused by them not being in the Lego aisle and mini-dolls than by the actual content of the sets or color of the boxes), he was actually quite interested in playing with them. I have video recorded his initial impression at the store as well as his initial reaction to the mini-dolls themselves, and have his permission to share those publicly.

I will be reposting this message on my blog. I believe more discussion is better, all around, and that nothing is furthered by folks going off on a crusade based upon faulty first impressions.

Thank you for reading.

Ahmie

Mom, writer, Sociology graduate student, and AFOL - amongst other things.

I will be uploading the videos of my eldest child Liam (age 7.5 years) and his reaction to the products shortly and will edit this post to include the link when I do. If you have thoughts to share with me about this, please do so here on my Blogger blog (http://dragonmama.blogspot.com) instead of on Facebook or Google+ or wherever this might be reposted, so that the conversation stays in one place visible to all interested participants.

Ahmie

edit: update - after kids fell asleep I did some googling and sent a @ message on Twitter to ShelbyKnox with a link to this blog post, hopefully she sees it and comes to engage here, if time allows. She sounds like a busy woman.