We went out to dim sum yesterday because my bro-in-law is in town and this crop of fortune cookies was greatly amusing to me, especially when I continue the phrase that it came printed with (treating the period as a semicolon or an ellipse)... The part in italics is the rest of what the cookie should have said.
Mine was:
Learning to shrug is the beginning of wisdom... now get crocheting since you've not been finding the shrugs for nursing tops, make them yourself (something I'd been planning to do anyway, thank you fortune cookie)
Garvin's was:
Faith is the key to finding the answer you're looking for; the question, of course, being "where'd I put my keys?"
Del's (which I ate for him) was:
You are a practical person with both feet on the ground; but you are much cuter with one foot in your mouth.
Liam's was:
The seeds of an idea you planted long ago are about to blossom; this cookie serves as fair warning to your parents.
Marvin's was:
Your luck has changed. A new opportunity is about to present itself. We didn't say it was good luck - your flight has been canceled. (true story)
And we're not sure which of the other two were my husband's parents, not sure whose was whose but both of them kinda apply sometimes ;)
You are affectionate and loyal to those you love; to those you don't you're seen as a bit of a jerk.
Good fortune takes preparation and turning off the damn television set every once in a while is a good place to start.
Now Liam's running around screaming and driving everyone batty gotta go.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Friday, December 07, 2007
I keep wanting to post but not getting to it...
For the last week and a half or so I've been fibro-flaring and the kids extra demanding (probably because I'm not giving them enough positive attention - I've been a bit of a snappish momster for some points). My birthday happened, I've uploaded pictures of it (as well as November - the pictures website is actually up to date through this afternoon right now - the new profile picture here on Blogger was taken today). However I've already been interrupted 5 times in trying to get THIS blog post written so little wonder the long one I wanted to do for my birthday (which was Monday, it is now Friday) hasn't been done. Garvin just interrupted me for the 4th time this paragraph, it's not just the kids. I'd throw a pillow at his head RIGHT NOW if he wasn't carrying the baby. I'm feeling rather grumpy and behind on a lot of stuff including emails.
Anyway, what I HOPE to post about in the next 24-48 hours are my new year resolutions. I've decided it makes more sense to do those on my birthday instead of on some arbitrary date on the calendar (which January 1 is - *I* didn't set that date as important, did you?). I have several, they're not so much resolutions as goals for the year I am 31, and I've started on them even if I haven't been able to commit them to my freaking blog. Seeing as two of them directly relate to writing, this is rather ironic and ominous.
Time for another cup of coffee before I start screaming again. Both kids are pulling the "I'm not napping unless in physical contact with Mama" routine which does NOT work well with fibromyaglia trigger points. Oh, and Garvin just dropped the f-bomb over something in the other room, should probably find out why, but he's holding the baby and I can see the baby and the baby is not crying so I'm not feeling entirely concerned at the moment aside from wanting to wash his mouth out with soap since Liam is conscious and in earshot. *sigh*
Anyway, what I HOPE to post about in the next 24-48 hours are my new year resolutions. I've decided it makes more sense to do those on my birthday instead of on some arbitrary date on the calendar (which January 1 is - *I* didn't set that date as important, did you?). I have several, they're not so much resolutions as goals for the year I am 31, and I've started on them even if I haven't been able to commit them to my freaking blog. Seeing as two of them directly relate to writing, this is rather ironic and ominous.
Time for another cup of coffee before I start screaming again. Both kids are pulling the "I'm not napping unless in physical contact with Mama" routine which does NOT work well with fibromyaglia trigger points. Oh, and Garvin just dropped the f-bomb over something in the other room, should probably find out why, but he's holding the baby and I can see the baby and the baby is not crying so I'm not feeling entirely concerned at the moment aside from wanting to wash his mouth out with soap since Liam is conscious and in earshot. *sigh*
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
3 Years, 1 Month, 1 Week, and 2 Days with Two Treehuggers (take 3)
Well, we re-shot the pictures of Del (twice, actually - I didn't like the way the ones I took Monday afternoon came out so we redid it Tuesday afternoon with Liam running around... bet the daycare folks are just LOVING us now). Here's the final image (at least, I think it's the final image... ;) )... formatted for 8x10 printing so don't go trying to print it at 4x6 or it'll crop their heads off.
And for those trying to do a careful facial feature comparison, here's a close-up of their faces (note that Del is 9 days older than Liam was when his part of the picture was taken):
Yes, they look like brothers, but they are far from identical. Liam's mouth isn't nearly as wide as Del's, Del's eyes are also wider-spaced and lighter in color than Liam's, Del's ears stick out a bit more than Liam's (as do mine), their eyebrows are different, Del has a more pronounced chin whereas Liam's jawline is more rounded like his daddy's... both have fairly full lips like both of their parents (but shaped more like mine)... they MAY have the same nose shape when they grow up but that's hard to determine as there is much less nose shape variety among babies than there is among adults (Liz I believe will concede that fact?).
Garvin's baby pictures are all in the house, I'm going to ask my mom to bring mine over so I can scan them in and compare them to the way the boys look as babies. I do think Del resembles me more than Garvin from the few baby pictures of myself that I have. Liam's been "mini-Garvin" in appearance pretty much all along (but he's "mini-Ahmie" in personality). I'm suspecting Del is the reverse - looks more like mama but personality more like daddy, especially anytime we've been someplace where people Del's never met before want to hold him. Liam was always pretty happy with that idea, would happily coo if we were playing "pass the baby" before we even got our coats off. Del takes longer to warm up to people and "come out of his shell" (my sweet little turtle baby), if we try to let others hold him too soon he cries and if we wait a bit so he can warm up to them he will still glance around to reassure himself that mama is within a few feet every 30sec or so.
They're such wonderfully different little people!
And for those trying to do a careful facial feature comparison, here's a close-up of their faces (note that Del is 9 days older than Liam was when his part of the picture was taken):
Yes, they look like brothers, but they are far from identical. Liam's mouth isn't nearly as wide as Del's, Del's eyes are also wider-spaced and lighter in color than Liam's, Del's ears stick out a bit more than Liam's (as do mine), their eyebrows are different, Del has a more pronounced chin whereas Liam's jawline is more rounded like his daddy's... both have fairly full lips like both of their parents (but shaped more like mine)... they MAY have the same nose shape when they grow up but that's hard to determine as there is much less nose shape variety among babies than there is among adults (Liz I believe will concede that fact?).
Garvin's baby pictures are all in the house, I'm going to ask my mom to bring mine over so I can scan them in and compare them to the way the boys look as babies. I do think Del resembles me more than Garvin from the few baby pictures of myself that I have. Liam's been "mini-Garvin" in appearance pretty much all along (but he's "mini-Ahmie" in personality). I'm suspecting Del is the reverse - looks more like mama but personality more like daddy, especially anytime we've been someplace where people Del's never met before want to hold him. Liam was always pretty happy with that idea, would happily coo if we were playing "pass the baby" before we even got our coats off. Del takes longer to warm up to people and "come out of his shell" (my sweet little turtle baby), if we try to let others hold him too soon he cries and if we wait a bit so he can warm up to them he will still glance around to reassure himself that mama is within a few feet every 30sec or so.
They're such wonderfully different little people!
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Fun with toddler Signing
I've been more intentional in Signing with the kids since Del was born, especially since there is a hard-of-hearing baby at our church. So with lunch I was trying to get Liam to practice his signs for fruit. He had a pear (which he doesn't quite understand the distinction between a pear and an apple so I'm trying to help clarify that for him), so I Signed "PEAR" for him (left hand with the fingertips all touching and pointing upward, pull the fingers of the right hand from the base of the left's fingers and up toward the fingertips, indicating the shape of a pear).
Then he wanted an orange, which he couldn't remember the Sign for (you open and close your right hand in front of your chin). And then he was saying something about an Apple while Signing "candy" instead (Sign for "candy" is the index finger of your right hand poked into your right cheek and twisted, like you're drilling a hole in your tooth. Apple is Signed by making a fist with the thumb up along the side of the closed fingers - forming the ASL letter A - placing the thumb of that handshape near the outer side of your mouth and twisting a little, so it's a similar location and motion). I tried to correct his Sign by Signing and saying "you mean apple not candy, right?" And he said yes then tried to imitate the Sign for apple... by tapping the finger-side of the same handshape against his cheekbone several times.
And then he got very confused as Mama nearly fell over laughing.
That's the Sign for "menstruate".
Pretty sure his comprehension of anatomy isn't quite THAT advanced yet. Nor do I remember him learning that one on the Signing Time videos...
Then he wanted an orange, which he couldn't remember the Sign for (you open and close your right hand in front of your chin). And then he was saying something about an Apple while Signing "candy" instead (Sign for "candy" is the index finger of your right hand poked into your right cheek and twisted, like you're drilling a hole in your tooth. Apple is Signed by making a fist with the thumb up along the side of the closed fingers - forming the ASL letter A - placing the thumb of that handshape near the outer side of your mouth and twisting a little, so it's a similar location and motion). I tried to correct his Sign by Signing and saying "you mean apple not candy, right?" And he said yes then tried to imitate the Sign for apple... by tapping the finger-side of the same handshape against his cheekbone several times.
And then he got very confused as Mama nearly fell over laughing.
That's the Sign for "menstruate".
Pretty sure his comprehension of anatomy isn't quite THAT advanced yet. Nor do I remember him learning that one on the Signing Time videos...
Monday, November 19, 2007
Poorly targeted Gmail marketing
Damn this pissed me off, you'll probably have to click the image to view it full-screen to see exactly why:
In case you still can't read it even on the larger view, the adbar (upper arrow) has an advertisment for HOOTER HIDERS... the email list I was marking messages as read in is a BREASTFEEDING ACTIVIST ORGANIZATION (of which I'm a founding member - this is a large part of what's been distracting me from blogging and most other online activities for the last 2 months - I've been working behind the scenes on FirstRight.org and designing the website... plus we had a serious hard drive crash that I'm still not completely ready to talk about - emotionally - quite yet).
ARG! *headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk* I really like Google generally *sigh*
Wonder if we can get sponsorship to get advertising for ourselves in Google (especially that specific location) when the word lactivist appears in emails... hmmm.
In case you still can't read it even on the larger view, the adbar (upper arrow) has an advertisment for HOOTER HIDERS... the email list I was marking messages as read in is a BREASTFEEDING ACTIVIST ORGANIZATION (of which I'm a founding member - this is a large part of what's been distracting me from blogging and most other online activities for the last 2 months - I've been working behind the scenes on FirstRight.org and designing the website... plus we had a serious hard drive crash that I'm still not completely ready to talk about - emotionally - quite yet).
ARG! *headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk* I really like Google generally *sigh*
Wonder if we can get sponsorship to get advertising for ourselves in Google (especially that specific location) when the word lactivist appears in emails... hmmm.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
3 Years 1 Month 1 Week With 2 Treehuggers
Had to share, life's been crazy and as it is I'm typing this with a fussy Del in my arms....
That's Del on the left and Liam on the right (exactly one week younger when the picture was taken). Del's picture's not so good because it was taken with my cellphone camera, the Kodak isn't working for some reason (thought it was that our battery charger went fubar but we went and got "for digital cameras" alkaline batteries just to take the picture and it still won't turn on *sigh* testing a bit more with rechargables from a different charger before contacting Kodak - at least it's still under warranty but CRAP right at the holiday season is NOT when I'm most patient about this!).
People keep telling me how much the boys look alike. Neener neener, no they DON'T!
Oh, and behind Del is the new RE wing of our church (construction was completed just before he was concieved), behind Liam is the old RE wing of our church. I'm not sure if it's the same tree or not, there were two trees in front of the building before construction, one is now gone and I can't remember which one I took Liam's picture in front of 3 years ago.
That's Del on the left and Liam on the right (exactly one week younger when the picture was taken). Del's picture's not so good because it was taken with my cellphone camera, the Kodak isn't working for some reason (thought it was that our battery charger went fubar but we went and got "for digital cameras" alkaline batteries just to take the picture and it still won't turn on *sigh* testing a bit more with rechargables from a different charger before contacting Kodak - at least it's still under warranty but CRAP right at the holiday season is NOT when I'm most patient about this!).
People keep telling me how much the boys look alike. Neener neener, no they DON'T!
Oh, and behind Del is the new RE wing of our church (construction was completed just before he was concieved), behind Liam is the old RE wing of our church. I'm not sure if it's the same tree or not, there were two trees in front of the building before construction, one is now gone and I can't remember which one I took Liam's picture in front of 3 years ago.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
A Child's Tears
a lot's been going on that I'm not quite ready to blog about (nothing life-or-death, no marriage trouble, the boys are fine), I was taking a break from brooding to do something constructive, unpacking a box of books that'd been sitting on the bookshelf for months and came across a book of poetry written by my grand-uncle, who died when I was in kindergarten or first grade. The book says it was published in 1982 (self-published I think) so it was close to when he died. His death was sudden, in his bedroom, I think a heart attack or something. This particular poem really fits well with the school shooting that happened in Cleveland last week so I thought I'd share it both as a sign of respect for all touched by that, and in memory of my uncle. And just as I was about to compose this blog entry I got an email that a friend whom I haven't seen in a while just lost his dad so this is for Neil too.
A Child's Tears by Norvin Pallas
A Child's tears are quickly dried,
the night's dreads are thrust aside,
the sun's rays again will warm,
the rains end like any storm.
The bruised knee will soon be loose,
and pride soothed with apple juice.
The strayed thought will be retrieved,
and time's march is ill perceived.
The day ends with Mother's kiss;
all doubts melt to dreamless bliss...
Except once I saw a child,
his face not reposed nor wild,
a blank page with nothing writ,
the eyes dulled, doors to the pit.
For fate's shaft too deeply bore,
and naught now can hurt him more.
All warmth oozed out through the breech -
the probe taught all it could teach -
a lost heart with naught inside...
This child's tears could not be dried.
Rest in peace, Asa Coon. May your peers learn to live in peace and be offered the opportunities peace requires.
A Child's Tears by Norvin Pallas
A Child's tears are quickly dried,
the night's dreads are thrust aside,
the sun's rays again will warm,
the rains end like any storm.
The bruised knee will soon be loose,
and pride soothed with apple juice.
The strayed thought will be retrieved,
and time's march is ill perceived.
The day ends with Mother's kiss;
all doubts melt to dreamless bliss...
Except once I saw a child,
his face not reposed nor wild,
a blank page with nothing writ,
the eyes dulled, doors to the pit.
For fate's shaft too deeply bore,
and naught now can hurt him more.
All warmth oozed out through the breech -
the probe taught all it could teach -
a lost heart with naught inside...
This child's tears could not be dried.
Rest in peace, Asa Coon. May your peers learn to live in peace and be offered the opportunities peace requires.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
WOOHOO! Med. exam mom won her appeal!
Congrats to Sophie Currier on winning her appeal (title is a link to the yahoo news story)! I'm so glad the appeals court judge gets it - accommodation to one issue (dyslexia/ADHD) doesn't preclude the need for accommodation for another (breastfeeding)... and shame on the medical examining board for discriminating against her in the first place, they should have gotten it without the need for a lawsuit. Hell, her pre-existing learning disabilities make her need for the extra break time INCREASE, not decrease - "oh, other breastfeeding mothers have taken the exam without needing extra break time" - yeah, but were they ALSO dyslexic and suffering from ADHD and needing extra testing time for those issues? If they're fast test-takers anyway, they probably made it through the test sections fast enough to go pump/pee/eat/whatever without NEEDING to ask for accommodations.
What if it'd been someone with dyslexia, ADHD, and fecal incontinence issues? Would the extra break time so they could change their undergarments on a regular basis have been questioned?
Go Sophie! Can't wait to see what advances in pathology you bring to the world, I have faith that you're going to go on to great work.
What if it'd been someone with dyslexia, ADHD, and fecal incontinence issues? Would the extra break time so they could change their undergarments on a regular basis have been questioned?
Go Sophie! Can't wait to see what advances in pathology you bring to the world, I have faith that you're going to go on to great work.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Presidents commenting on their lap dogs in September
This is of my own compiling, I sent it off to MoveOn.org in case they found it amusing enough to use as an ad. At the very least it would be a fantastic comic strip - but alas, I cannot draw.
"...I think I have a right to resent, to object to libelous statements about my dog."--Sept. 23, 1944, FDR referring to his lap dog Fala while addressing the Teamsters Union
"And you know, the kids, like all kids, love the dog and I just want to say this right now, that regardless of what they say about it, we're gonna keep it." --Sept. 23, 1952, Nixon referring to his dog Checkers while addressing the nation on television.
"It's one thing to attack me. It's another thing to attack somebody like Gen. Petraeus." --Sept. 18, 2007, Bush referring to his lap dog Gen. Petraeus during a White House press conference.
Free speech IS patriotic.
"...I think I have a right to resent, to object to libelous statements about my dog."--Sept. 23, 1944, FDR referring to his lap dog Fala while addressing the Teamsters Union
"And you know, the kids, like all kids, love the dog and I just want to say this right now, that regardless of what they say about it, we're gonna keep it." --Sept. 23, 1952, Nixon referring to his dog Checkers while addressing the nation on television.
"It's one thing to attack me. It's another thing to attack somebody like Gen. Petraeus." --Sept. 18, 2007, Bush referring to his lap dog Gen. Petraeus during a White House press conference.
Free speech IS patriotic.
Friday, September 14, 2007
Northern Ohio's turn for breastfeeding discrimination
As reported in the Toledo Free Press a breastfeeding mother was told to leave a store for nursing her child discreetly... urg. too tired to type more around Del at the moment (who is on my chest being refluxy as I type).
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Apparently lawyers don't like to be made to look foolish
I was looking online for information about the case of Sophie Currier, who is suing the National Board of Medical Examiners for not giving her sufficient breaks to pump for her four month old baby during the 9 hour long test and stumbled upon a lawyer's blog shooting off his mouth on the subject. I tried replying to his rant and he basically just got insulting pretty quick, accusing me of ranting (as anyone who reads this blog regularly knows I am, in fact, quite proficient at - but I was not doing in this case... I was debating him point-by-point in a somewhat verbose manner, which shouldn't be so unusual to a lawyer.
The link to his blog entry is: http://hacklawyer.net/?p=426#comment-3676
In case he's the type to delete the entry, I'm reposting it here with my reply and his rebuttal, and including my reply that he declined to publish and the two email exchange we've had over that. I don't well tolerate this kind of idiocy from someone in a position of authority ;) So I'm taking my first amendment free speech rights as seriously as he's taken his.
I can't find the exact text of my reply to him, but I pointed out that 1.) I'm a Signer and have been in and out of the Deaf Community for years, being Hard of Hearing (Central Auditory Processing Dysfunction) myself so the fact he refers to his daughter as "severely hearing-impared" is telling to me. People can be blinded, deafened, and paralyzed due to their own stupidity - does that mean that they are therefore not worthy of accomodations because their behavior was "elective"? And that lifetime wage losses that I'm facing, staying home with my kids while they're small, are well over a million dollars - given that the woman in question already holds a PhD and just finished medical school, if she doesn't get her license and finish her residency she's going to have BIG financial hardships. Also pointed out she was 8.5mo pregnant when she took the test the last time (and she didn't fail by much), only having 45min of break time over the course of a 9hr test with nearly full-term fetus sitting on a rapidly shrinking bladder - BIG distraction that could easily have cost her a few points and maybe she wasn't aware that she was protected by the Pregnancy Discrimination Act at the time, in addition to the ADA (she has learning disabilities including dyslexia that garnered her extra test time, but not extra break time).
His reply to those points via email:
When you cut through all the BS and see that the real
complaint is about all the millions at risk, I see what
your priorities (and Ms. Currier's) are. I need say no
more. Hard of hearing indeed. No shame at all.
Your response is not worthy or publication.
WLC
And my emailed response to him:
well, I've got my own blog to publicize it on then. And "Hard of hearing indeed" so you're also an audiologist now? Wow are you talented, sir. There are not "millions at risk" here, there is gender equality and fairness at risk here. And I think the real problem you're having is a woman is making you look like an idiot.
a link to a new story about this issue is at
http://www.bostonherald.com/news/regional/general/view.bg?articleid=1030870
The link to his blog entry is: http://hacklawyer.net/?p=426#comment-3676
In case he's the type to delete the entry, I'm reposting it here with my reply and his rebuttal, and including my reply that he declined to publish and the two email exchange we've had over that. I don't well tolerate this kind of idiocy from someone in a position of authority ;) So I'm taking my first amendment free speech rights as seriously as he's taken his.
It’s as simple as . . . what?
Sophie Currier holds a doctorate in neuroscience from Harvard University. Not only that, she has completed her studies at Harvard to acquire a medical degree. She is poised to acquire a prestigious residency at Massachusetts General Hospital but cannot accept it until she passes her medical exam.
When she took it the first time, she petitioned the National Board of Medical Examiners for “accomodations” (read: more time to take the exam) because of her dyslexia and attention deficit disorder. She was granted this consideration, allowing her to take the nine-hour test, which allows for breaks of 45 minutes) over two days instead of one. Even so, she failed. She blamed this on her pregnancy which she says put extra pressure on her. She’s now poised to take it a second time and she wants an additional 60-minute break on each day. She says she needs this time to pump breast milk for her 4-month old daughter.
Ms. Currier petitioned the Board for this additional break time, arguing that she needed the extra time to pump milk to avoid breast engorgement and mastitis, an infection stemming from blocked milk ducts. The Board turned her request down, explaining that it could only accomodate conditions covered by the Americans With Diabilities Act. The test is scheduled for Saturday, September 15.
This past Thursday, Ms. Currier filed suit in a Massachusetts Superior Court, requesting that the trial court order the Board to grant her this extra time, plus a private room with a power outlet so she can express her milk in private with an electric pump. She also enlisted the help of Dr. Alison Stuebe, a physician at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston and a member of the Acadamy of Breastfeeding Medicine (I had no idea). Dr. Stuebe wrote to the court that “forty-five minutes is insufficient time for a nursing mother of a 4-month old to eat, drink, use the restroom and to fully and properly express breast milk using an electric pump two times over the course of eight hours. If Ms. Currier is forced to delay taking the exam, it will cause her significant hardship by delaying her ability to earn a living and to begin repaying school loans, and possibly leading to the loss of clinical knowledge and skills.”
The case, scheduled to be argued on Wenesday, September 12th, is considered to be a harbinger of things to come because more and more women are studying medicine than ever before. Three exams must be completed before applicants can become doctors. Thus, these rigid requirements are running headfirst into the biological demands of these many female test takers. But think about the precedents set if the Board accedes to Ms. Currier’s additional requests. Who’s to say that the Board must then make accomodations for any applicant who can document a particular medical condition which might require additional time and effort to attend to? How about the man (or woman) with irritable bowel syndrome? What about the person who can document persistent migraine headaches? These unfortunate folks never really know when these things are going to hit. What if I could document a history of chronic depression and the need for additional time to handle complicated tasks given the debilitating effects of depression.
How about if Ms. Currier just takes the time to attend to her four-month old daughter like any other responsible mother would, wean the child off breast milk and then take the test, complete with your “accomodations?” For an individual who obviously has spent her entire adult life in school, a few more months devoted to raising her infant child is not going to ruin her future nor can it seriously be argued that the hiatus will threaten the loss of her intellectual mastery of all this knowledge.
But what’s most troubling about Ms. Currier’s litigation is the suggestion that the Board’s refusal to accomodate her “condition” is some sort of persecution of a protected minority class. And the truth is this: complaints by the traditionally disabled - the deaf, the blind, the paraplegic - have accounted for only a tiny share of these kind of ”accomodation requests.” The overwhelming majority of them comprise those who claim such dubious disabilities as ADD, visual and oral processing diabilities, dysgraphia (really bad handwriting), ”phonological processing,” dyscalculia (math disability). I could go on but I assure you I’m not making this up. So as the ranks of the learning-disabled swell, so too the number of boutique diagnoses. And now this.
Ms. Currier explains that “this is as simple as ducking into the bathroom to pump milk.” If that’s the case, why the need to file a lawsuit?
2 Responses to “It’s as simple as . . . what?”
I can't find the exact text of my reply to him, but I pointed out that 1.) I'm a Signer and have been in and out of the Deaf Community for years, being Hard of Hearing (Central Auditory Processing Dysfunction) myself so the fact he refers to his daughter as "severely hearing-impared" is telling to me. People can be blinded, deafened, and paralyzed due to their own stupidity - does that mean that they are therefore not worthy of accomodations because their behavior was "elective"? And that lifetime wage losses that I'm facing, staying home with my kids while they're small, are well over a million dollars - given that the woman in question already holds a PhD and just finished medical school, if she doesn't get her license and finish her residency she's going to have BIG financial hardships. Also pointed out she was 8.5mo pregnant when she took the test the last time (and she didn't fail by much), only having 45min of break time over the course of a 9hr test with nearly full-term fetus sitting on a rapidly shrinking bladder - BIG distraction that could easily have cost her a few points and maybe she wasn't aware that she was protected by the Pregnancy Discrimination Act at the time, in addition to the ADA (she has learning disabilities including dyslexia that garnered her extra test time, but not extra break time).
His reply to those points via email:
 Warren Clark |
|
complaint is about all the millions at risk, I see what
your priorities (and Ms. Currier's) are. I need say no
more. Hard of hearing indeed. No shame at all.
Your response is not worthy or publication.
WLC
And my emailed response to him:
well, I've got my own blog to publicize it on then. And "Hard of hearing indeed" so you're also an audiologist now? Wow are you talented, sir. There are not "millions at risk" here, there is gender equality and fairness at risk here. And I think the real problem you're having is a woman is making you look like an idiot.
a link to a new story about this issue is at
http://www.bostonherald.com/news/regional/general/view.bg?articleid=1030870
Friday, August 10, 2007
Three wishes and horror stories
I've got the Food Network on for Liam (he's become a huge fan of "Man Cook" aka Alton Brown) and the related commercials. There's this stupid commercial for the local cable monolith where the wife comes home to find the husband has just made three wishes from a genie - all for the cable co's products of course - and the wife is thrilled about it. Ick. While this commercial was on I was browsing through emails to one of the email lists I'm currently active on and one of the women on the list was family friends with a family in which it appears the wife/mother has just murdered her husband and two young sons, the elder of which had been the email list poster's child's first friend. It hits hard, stories like that, especially with the connection to this other family. I don't know how I would react if something horrific happened to a family I care about (not that I would ever dream that either spouse in the families we're friends with would ever be capable of such a thing!).
The commercial being on got me thinking about all the sci-fi stories about "three wishes gone wrong" even when people wish for universal/world peace and such (which usually turns into the world/universe becoming a police state with severe infractions for any transgressions). So I've thought about what my three wishes would be. I wish them for the whole world, but especially for anyone reading this.
I wish every being in the universe to feel personal, unconditional love from at least one other being.
I wish every being in the universe to experience complete emotional contentment on a daily basis.
I wish every being in the universe to care at least as much about others as they do about themselves.
Liam insists he needs company to potty, gotta run.
The commercial being on got me thinking about all the sci-fi stories about "three wishes gone wrong" even when people wish for universal/world peace and such (which usually turns into the world/universe becoming a police state with severe infractions for any transgressions). So I've thought about what my three wishes would be. I wish them for the whole world, but especially for anyone reading this.
I wish every being in the universe to feel personal, unconditional love from at least one other being.
I wish every being in the universe to experience complete emotional contentment on a daily basis.
I wish every being in the universe to care at least as much about others as they do about themselves.
Liam insists he needs company to potty, gotta run.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Profile of a Harry Potter fan: Michele Herman
Profile of a Harry Potter fan: Michele Herman
That's my friend Chele, who I used to beta for (translation: I edited her fanfiction) and who co-founded PhoenixSong.net with me, Aibhinn, Sherri and another lady who has dropped out of the fandom last I heard and may prefer not to be named, her name is still off the founder's page per her request).
I'm not active on the site currently (took time off when Liam was born, then moved 4 times in 2.5 years, the last one when I was pregnant with Del... gee... how did helping with a very active fandom site manage to fall off my priority list?), but I'm eternally proud of it and everyone who works to keep it in existance. I hope to go back to being active on it soon, as well as to writing. And boy, I need to update my founder's bio! It doesn't even indicate that LIAM was born, I was still pregnant with him last time I updated that... oops.
Anyway, the interview with Chele was too cool not to share (and have a way to find it again later).
That's my friend Chele, who I used to beta for (translation: I edited her fanfiction) and who co-founded PhoenixSong.net with me, Aibhinn, Sherri and another lady who has dropped out of the fandom last I heard and may prefer not to be named, her name is still off the founder's page per her request).
I'm not active on the site currently (took time off when Liam was born, then moved 4 times in 2.5 years, the last one when I was pregnant with Del... gee... how did helping with a very active fandom site manage to fall off my priority list?), but I'm eternally proud of it and everyone who works to keep it in existance. I hope to go back to being active on it soon, as well as to writing. And boy, I need to update my founder's bio! It doesn't even indicate that LIAM was born, I was still pregnant with him last time I updated that... oops.
Anyway, the interview with Chele was too cool not to share (and have a way to find it again later).
Monday, August 06, 2007
home again home again
Wow, did that "Comfort" Hotel wind up SUCKING ANAL CAVITIES. We lasted until Tuesday there before we just couldn't take it anymore. Advice to anyone reading this: avoid Comfort Hotel Airport North (near the western edge of Toronto) . I was ready to do inappropriate things to the general manager with my cane by the time I walked out the door, even tho he had comped our entire stay at that point (which only happened because he was stupid enough to deal with a customer he already knew was dissatisfied in the lobby during check-in when other customers were right there, instead of having enough braincells to realize that talking to someone who is pissed off is better done OUT of the earshot and visual range of people about to give you money. Duh, you have an office with a door on it for a reason, moron. Give me an audience that I know will increase my chances of getting my way and I'm GOING to make a scene as it's the fastest way to get out of there.).
The hotel chain's policy is that if they can't improve a situation that is their fault (such as the room having no AC, and the first of four rooms with two beds each that I could find that WASN'T like sitting on a trampoline - out of 8 beds, ONE had a box spring in good enough condition to not to continue bouncing for 30 seconds if I sat on the side of the bed - one bed out of 8, and the room it was in the AC didn't work... it was cool enough at night with the window open but we had to vacate the room by about 10am or suffer in a sauna, we wound up wandering a mall 2 days in a row to try to let Liam spend some energy before going to elderly auntie's house). Saturday the front desk morons (who couldn't figure out how to get extra pillows without help from housekeeping who wouldn't be back until morning, mind you) promised me that the AC would be fixed on Sunday. Sunday evening, AC still not working and no sign anyone had even been in the room. Complaint, offer to switch rooms yet again (yeah, after the hassle of getting the kids set up in the rooms to begin with - I'd unpacked and settled into that room on the promise that the AC would be fixed! Del's co-sleeper is a PAIN to set up with getting the security strap between the matress and box spring). They promised it'd be fixed Monday. Monday night was a repeat of Sunday - didn't even look like anyone had been in the room, AC still not working. They promised it'd be fixed Tuesday (and still didn't offer to comp the room per their own policy). I checked with the front desk girl on Monday at noon, she said she'd just spoken to the repair guy and he was on his way. The last straw was they had posted that there was hallway renovation going on for the 3 floors above us (which I ASKED meant noise for where we were since I'd specifically requested a QUIET area for the children when I made the reservation), then without warning they were hammering on the wall NEXT TO THE DOOR OF OUR SUITE while we were trying to get Liam to take a nap. Garvin complained, I waited a little bit then pulled out the video camera (it'll be on YouTube soon, I promise) and filmed the jerks working in the hallway right outside our door then took the camera down and showed the front desk lady to ask if that fit her definition of a "quiet room"... she told me the GM had ALREADY TOLD THEM they couldn't work on that floor since the guests hadn't been warned. I went back upstairs and the people doing the work had heard no such thing (and were also using words I'd rather not have my 3yo start repeating, such as calling each other "retard" - I'd actually rather he says "shit" and "damn" than "retard" given our family's history and where my mom works). We left a little before 3pm.
Oh, and top that off with the fact that the pool and hot tub advertised were closed until sometime Monday (we got there Saturday).
The housekeeper was lovely though, a very considerate lady with a Jamaican melodic accent I could have listened to for an hour happily.
When sleeping on an old full-sized sofabed mattress on the floor is preferable to staying two more nights in a hotel room, you know it's bad, right?
Contrast that with the Sheridan in downtown Toronto, where our beds were actually smaller (the Discomfort Hotel had 2 queen sized beds, Sheridan was 2 fulls), not actually any more comfortable aside from not being trampoline impersonators, but the staff was WONDERFUL. Every single person in any way connected with the hotel was a absolute pleasure to deal with, from the bellmen to the registration people to the servers. Absolutely fantastic service (though significantly more expensive, especially when you add in the $35/day parking - but it's downtown Toronto where parking is horrendous and connected via ACed underground to the biggest tourist attraction in the city - Eaton Centre - so not a big suprise). I wish I could afford to stay there when we're in Toronto visiting family, tho it's horribly inconvenient to where Garvin's family lives - it's only about 15 miles away but takes 45min to drive when traffic is minimal, which isn't the case during most of the day. Two of Garvin's extended family members have offered to let us stay with them in the future (which I wish Garvin had ignored his mother and asked in the first place instead of winding up staying with someone in an emergency situation instead), including the family that put us up while there, so hopefully we won't have a repeat of this with another hotel anyway. Last time we were up there, family members/friends (can't keep relations straight on his side sometimes) lived in the next building over from the Auntie G's parents were staying with and their building had a "guest suite" that we stayed in with Liam but they've since moved, unfortunately. Basically it's hotel-like rooms in the same building as their condo, complete with the other amenities found at most hotels such as a business centre and concierge service.
The conference was amazing (though spending 3 hours per day with Garvin in transit for childcare really dampered it for us, I'm strongly encouraging HPEF to try to find a way to facilitate on-site childcare for future conferences, even if it's just pointing parents to an online forum area for them to make their own arrangements for care-sharing or whatever). Steve Vander Ark's presentations were worth the cost of admission alone to me (we went to all 4 hours he presented and video recorded them thankfully because there is no way the audio will capture the majority of the presentation - he's a very kinetic speaker). Other presentations were wonderful too and I got to meet a lot of interesting people (and my screenname was recognized by a few even tho I've been absent from online fandom for the better part of a year now). Oh, and Ali who I made the Chudley Cannons stuff for was there WEARING IT!!! That was totally cool to see my creations being worn by someone I'd only corresponded with online. We literally kept bumping into her (bapping her with the borrowed wheelchair when we turned around several times). We bought the audio recordings of all the presentations because there were so many that we either couldn't get to because they were at the same time as others, or that were so good we wanted to be able to hear them again (as well as being able to share some of this information with church folks so they can get an idea of what I'd like to see us accomplish on a smaller scale - I really think Symposiums are the UU equivalent of the standard "cultural festival" hosted by other churches like the Greek Orthodox ones). Now I just gotta find out what Steve's speaker fee would be.... ;) I *think* he said he's in Grand Rapids, MI which Google thinks is a 4.5hr drive...
Plotting plotting...
Oh, and I got my HP personal fansite "decorated" finally before heading up to Toronto... I'm trying to sepearate it out from my real life/mommy stuff so people who aren't really all that interested in my HP fanaticism don't get inundated with it so much here (tho this is my primary blog so it'll still be here, sorry ;) )... if you want to see more of my Potterheadedness and read my fics, head over to www.astartesfire.com for links to those.
The hotel chain's policy is that if they can't improve a situation that is their fault (such as the room having no AC, and the first of four rooms with two beds each that I could find that WASN'T like sitting on a trampoline - out of 8 beds, ONE had a box spring in good enough condition to not to continue bouncing for 30 seconds if I sat on the side of the bed - one bed out of 8, and the room it was in the AC didn't work... it was cool enough at night with the window open but we had to vacate the room by about 10am or suffer in a sauna, we wound up wandering a mall 2 days in a row to try to let Liam spend some energy before going to elderly auntie's house). Saturday the front desk morons (who couldn't figure out how to get extra pillows without help from housekeeping who wouldn't be back until morning, mind you) promised me that the AC would be fixed on Sunday. Sunday evening, AC still not working and no sign anyone had even been in the room. Complaint, offer to switch rooms yet again (yeah, after the hassle of getting the kids set up in the rooms to begin with - I'd unpacked and settled into that room on the promise that the AC would be fixed! Del's co-sleeper is a PAIN to set up with getting the security strap between the matress and box spring). They promised it'd be fixed Monday. Monday night was a repeat of Sunday - didn't even look like anyone had been in the room, AC still not working. They promised it'd be fixed Tuesday (and still didn't offer to comp the room per their own policy). I checked with the front desk girl on Monday at noon, she said she'd just spoken to the repair guy and he was on his way. The last straw was they had posted that there was hallway renovation going on for the 3 floors above us (which I ASKED meant noise for where we were since I'd specifically requested a QUIET area for the children when I made the reservation), then without warning they were hammering on the wall NEXT TO THE DOOR OF OUR SUITE while we were trying to get Liam to take a nap. Garvin complained, I waited a little bit then pulled out the video camera (it'll be on YouTube soon, I promise) and filmed the jerks working in the hallway right outside our door then took the camera down and showed the front desk lady to ask if that fit her definition of a "quiet room"... she told me the GM had ALREADY TOLD THEM they couldn't work on that floor since the guests hadn't been warned. I went back upstairs and the people doing the work had heard no such thing (and were also using words I'd rather not have my 3yo start repeating, such as calling each other "retard" - I'd actually rather he says "shit" and "damn" than "retard" given our family's history and where my mom works). We left a little before 3pm.
Oh, and top that off with the fact that the pool and hot tub advertised were closed until sometime Monday (we got there Saturday).
The housekeeper was lovely though, a very considerate lady with a Jamaican melodic accent I could have listened to for an hour happily.
When sleeping on an old full-sized sofabed mattress on the floor is preferable to staying two more nights in a hotel room, you know it's bad, right?
Contrast that with the Sheridan in downtown Toronto, where our beds were actually smaller (the Discomfort Hotel had 2 queen sized beds, Sheridan was 2 fulls), not actually any more comfortable aside from not being trampoline impersonators, but the staff was WONDERFUL. Every single person in any way connected with the hotel was a absolute pleasure to deal with, from the bellmen to the registration people to the servers. Absolutely fantastic service (though significantly more expensive, especially when you add in the $35/day parking - but it's downtown Toronto where parking is horrendous and connected via ACed underground to the biggest tourist attraction in the city - Eaton Centre - so not a big suprise). I wish I could afford to stay there when we're in Toronto visiting family, tho it's horribly inconvenient to where Garvin's family lives - it's only about 15 miles away but takes 45min to drive when traffic is minimal, which isn't the case during most of the day. Two of Garvin's extended family members have offered to let us stay with them in the future (which I wish Garvin had ignored his mother and asked in the first place instead of winding up staying with someone in an emergency situation instead), including the family that put us up while there, so hopefully we won't have a repeat of this with another hotel anyway. Last time we were up there, family members/friends (can't keep relations straight on his side sometimes) lived in the next building over from the Auntie G's parents were staying with and their building had a "guest suite" that we stayed in with Liam but they've since moved, unfortunately. Basically it's hotel-like rooms in the same building as their condo, complete with the other amenities found at most hotels such as a business centre and concierge service.
The conference was amazing (though spending 3 hours per day with Garvin in transit for childcare really dampered it for us, I'm strongly encouraging HPEF to try to find a way to facilitate on-site childcare for future conferences, even if it's just pointing parents to an online forum area for them to make their own arrangements for care-sharing or whatever). Steve Vander Ark's presentations were worth the cost of admission alone to me (we went to all 4 hours he presented and video recorded them thankfully because there is no way the audio will capture the majority of the presentation - he's a very kinetic speaker). Other presentations were wonderful too and I got to meet a lot of interesting people (and my screenname was recognized by a few even tho I've been absent from online fandom for the better part of a year now). Oh, and Ali who I made the Chudley Cannons stuff for was there WEARING IT!!! That was totally cool to see my creations being worn by someone I'd only corresponded with online. We literally kept bumping into her (bapping her with the borrowed wheelchair when we turned around several times). We bought the audio recordings of all the presentations because there were so many that we either couldn't get to because they were at the same time as others, or that were so good we wanted to be able to hear them again (as well as being able to share some of this information with church folks so they can get an idea of what I'd like to see us accomplish on a smaller scale - I really think Symposiums are the UU equivalent of the standard "cultural festival" hosted by other churches like the Greek Orthodox ones). Now I just gotta find out what Steve's speaker fee would be.... ;) I *think* he said he's in Grand Rapids, MI which Google thinks is a 4.5hr drive...
Plotting plotting...
Oh, and I got my HP personal fansite "decorated" finally before heading up to Toronto... I'm trying to sepearate it out from my real life/mommy stuff so people who aren't really all that interested in my HP fanaticism don't get inundated with it so much here (tho this is my primary blog so it'll still be here, sorry ;) )... if you want to see more of my Potterheadedness and read my fics, head over to www.astartesfire.com for links to those.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
traveling to Toronto
Blarg. Hotels are not fun with two small children. The drive up was OK though each stop, of course, took almost twice as long as when it was just Garvin and me - left the house around 11am, got to Garvin's aunt's condo at about 6pm, so not really bad time considering last summer when we made the drive we hit traffic from hell, total stop for extended periods of time, and it took probably just as long even tho we made the rest stops as brief as possible. This is only the 3rd time we've driven to Toronto from Cleveland, so not a lot to compare it to, but the time we drove up while we were in college (for Garvin's cousin's wedding - my first time meeting the extended Yeung family and it had Karioke involved - fun story for another time) it only took 5 hours. I'm not so much about the journey when there are people waiting for us to get somewhere.
Liam and Del both did well in the rented minivan (which, weirdly, has a DVD entertainment system but manual windows and doorlocks), we wound up stopping 3x I think, maybe only twice, to feed Del and streetch and potty. Liam made it the whole way in a dry pull-up (aka "buzz") then wound up wetting the bed this morning. Nice to let someone else change the sheets.
The hotel we're staying in is OK. Took a while to find an acceptable room as for some reason when they went bed shopping for the place they went to the trampoline store instead, to the point that the first room we were in I laid down to nurse Del and the amount of bouncing from just HIS little movements and mine was enough to make me motion sick. No good. Took trying 4 different rooms, 3 of them had trampoline-like beds and the one we wound up picking instead (less bouncy bed) the AC isn't working. But it's on the 10th floor and has a window that isn't low enough for Liam to climb out of easily (he'd have to at least move the chair over) so we opened the window. As much of an environmentalist as I am, I really don't trust the damn screen window to keep my climbing toddler from his doom so I'm really hoping they get the damn AC fixed today like they said they wood (it's noon and no sign of the repair guy yet so I'm feeling a it pessimistic).
Email reply from Prophecy, Liam's not even allowed to go to the wizard rock concert. Good thing he's too young to be disappointed. Garvin doesn't seem to actually enjoy the wrock that much so I may actually leave him in the hotel room with both boys, take my cell with me so he can call me if Del needs me, and go by myself (or take Del in the sling with earplugs). Or, as I suggested to Garvin, maybe Nai-Nai can watch Liam at the hotel at least one day and he can drive her back to Auntie's condo in the evening. I'm really looking forward to the conference, just wish childcare wasn't such a hassle. If I'm ever part of planning one of these, I'm going to insist that they investigate on-site childcare options. There are enough HP fans that are parents with children too young for a conference, time to be inclusive people!!!
Well, I think everyone's ready to head out now so that's it for now. Hotel has free wifi so that's cool at least.
Liam and Del both did well in the rented minivan (which, weirdly, has a DVD entertainment system but manual windows and doorlocks), we wound up stopping 3x I think, maybe only twice, to feed Del and streetch and potty. Liam made it the whole way in a dry pull-up (aka "buzz") then wound up wetting the bed this morning. Nice to let someone else change the sheets.
The hotel we're staying in is OK. Took a while to find an acceptable room as for some reason when they went bed shopping for the place they went to the trampoline store instead, to the point that the first room we were in I laid down to nurse Del and the amount of bouncing from just HIS little movements and mine was enough to make me motion sick. No good. Took trying 4 different rooms, 3 of them had trampoline-like beds and the one we wound up picking instead (less bouncy bed) the AC isn't working. But it's on the 10th floor and has a window that isn't low enough for Liam to climb out of easily (he'd have to at least move the chair over) so we opened the window. As much of an environmentalist as I am, I really don't trust the damn screen window to keep my climbing toddler from his doom so I'm really hoping they get the damn AC fixed today like they said they wood (it's noon and no sign of the repair guy yet so I'm feeling a it pessimistic).
Email reply from Prophecy, Liam's not even allowed to go to the wizard rock concert. Good thing he's too young to be disappointed. Garvin doesn't seem to actually enjoy the wrock that much so I may actually leave him in the hotel room with both boys, take my cell with me so he can call me if Del needs me, and go by myself (or take Del in the sling with earplugs). Or, as I suggested to Garvin, maybe Nai-Nai can watch Liam at the hotel at least one day and he can drive her back to Auntie's condo in the evening. I'm really looking forward to the conference, just wish childcare wasn't such a hassle. If I'm ever part of planning one of these, I'm going to insist that they investigate on-site childcare options. There are enough HP fans that are parents with children too young for a conference, time to be inclusive people!!!
Well, I think everyone's ready to head out now so that's it for now. Hotel has free wifi so that's cool at least.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Just finished Deathly Hallows - spoiler reactions in comments
Well, I wasn't entirely accurrate in my predictions but not bad on the whole I think, better than 50-50 I guess.
Posting spoiler stuff in comments just in case, but seriously, if you've not finished the book what the hell are you doing reading MY blog? Go finish the damn book!
I can't wait to see what she writes next. Rumor is that it's for a slightly younger age group, so hopefully Del and Liam can grow up with a series while they actually remember it instead of just looking at pictures of their tiny selves at release parties (I'll post pictures to the photo website).
A warning for folks who haven't read the book yet and may read it aloud (or listen to the audiobook) with young children - there is swearing in this book. It's a war. It's not pretty. It's a bloodbath. The people who deluded themselves that there would only be 2 deaths in the book from what JKR said were kidding themselves. It's a freaking wild roller coaster that I wouldn't have traded a minute of, but damn was I glad to be able to take breaks and snuggle my kids and I think the lactating hormones helped a bit with coping. Damn. I cried several times, but she brilliantly mixed in almost as many times to laugh. As much as I still dearly love the series, Liam and Del (and any younger siblings) will DEFINATELY have to be of a certain maturity level before I really let them have access to this book, especially. It is really emotionally challenging. 11 year olds are going to be really torn up. But bless her, she left us our fan fiction options, even with the epilogue included I'm still sprouting ideas.
Posting spoiler stuff in comments just in case, but seriously, if you've not finished the book what the hell are you doing reading MY blog? Go finish the damn book!
I can't wait to see what she writes next. Rumor is that it's for a slightly younger age group, so hopefully Del and Liam can grow up with a series while they actually remember it instead of just looking at pictures of their tiny selves at release parties (I'll post pictures to the photo website).
A warning for folks who haven't read the book yet and may read it aloud (or listen to the audiobook) with young children - there is swearing in this book. It's a war. It's not pretty. It's a bloodbath. The people who deluded themselves that there would only be 2 deaths in the book from what JKR said were kidding themselves. It's a freaking wild roller coaster that I wouldn't have traded a minute of, but damn was I glad to be able to take breaks and snuggle my kids and I think the lactating hormones helped a bit with coping. Damn. I cried several times, but she brilliantly mixed in almost as many times to laugh. As much as I still dearly love the series, Liam and Del (and any younger siblings) will DEFINATELY have to be of a certain maturity level before I really let them have access to this book, especially. It is really emotionally challenging. 11 year olds are going to be really torn up. But bless her, she left us our fan fiction options, even with the epilogue included I'm still sprouting ideas.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows - or - Priorities, Priorities
Well, I've had very strong theories about what's going to happen in the last book(s) for ages (saw Harry and Ginny hooking up pretty much from the first time the boy got on the train, sorry all you Harry/Hermione shippers out there). I just haven't had a chance to sit down and write them where other people could access them for a while, but figured I better get to it, and trying to get it done before Liam wakes up (Del's in a sling on my chest as I type as he's having a fussy morning after a fussy night - reflux and/or indigestion I think from all the grunting). People who have had Harry Potter conversations with me know these aren't things I'm making up after reading spoilers or something (I've actually read no spoilers, mostly from lack of time - I read spoilers for the last two books judiciously).
Should be no surprise that I'm racing to get this up when I still haven't written up Del's birth story yet to people who know me, right? *blush*
I'm posting the theories as the first comment to this post so it doesn't potentially spoil anyone who stumbles upon this and doesn't want to read that kind of thing (but wants to read my other random ranting for some reason? Must be a relative looking for baby pictures - haven't updated those in a couple weeks either, sorry!).
edit: wow, even trying to keep it short, typing up my Potter theories in Word (so I could spell-check and auto-save in case Del projectile-spit-up on the keyboard or something) wound up being 5 full pages at 12 pt font with 1" margins... so be prepared for a very long read before you go read the theories I posted as the first comment to this!
Should be no surprise that I'm racing to get this up when I still haven't written up Del's birth story yet to people who know me, right? *blush*
I'm posting the theories as the first comment to this post so it doesn't potentially spoil anyone who stumbles upon this and doesn't want to read that kind of thing (but wants to read my other random ranting for some reason? Must be a relative looking for baby pictures - haven't updated those in a couple weeks either, sorry!).
edit: wow, even trying to keep it short, typing up my Potter theories in Word (so I could spell-check and auto-save in case Del projectile-spit-up on the keyboard or something) wound up being 5 full pages at 12 pt font with 1" margins... so be prepared for a very long read before you go read the theories I posted as the first comment to this!
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
personality matrix
Sabrina did one of these (not sure if she wants random folks who read my blog adding their insight into her personality, so I'm not linking to it) and so I did a new one (apparently I did one as "Ahmie" but then forgot to tell people was there - from the words selected I'm *pretty* sure that was me too). So I did a new one as dragonmama that reflects how I'm seeing myself right now as opposed to whenever the heck that was.
No more time to type right now.
edit because I don't feel like making a new post: went to the LCs at a nearby hospital today to buy a Medela nursing bra off them. Weighed Del. He's now 9lbs 9oz! Eek! He was 9oz even 6 days ago at his 2wk checkup.
edit because of MFB - he was 9LBS not 9OZ at his 2wk appointment. doh.
No more time to type right now.
edit because I don't feel like making a new post: went to the LCs at a nearby hospital today to buy a Medela nursing bra off them. Weighed Del. He's now 9lbs 9oz! Eek! He was 9oz even 6 days ago at his 2wk checkup.
edit because of MFB - he was 9LBS not 9OZ at his 2wk appointment. doh.
Friday, July 13, 2007
ok ok i'll post something postpartum
baby is here (in my lap as i type)... little baby boy Del (short for Delano, like the president) was born on 6/27/07 at 7:17am after 3.5 days of labor and close to 10 hours of on and off pushing (back labor and psoas muscle issues are a nasty combo). he was born at home, Garvin caught him. 7lbs 12oz, 19in long at birth. 9lbs and 20.5in long at his 2wk checkup this past Wednesday. breastfeeding like a champ, obviously. saw his first movie on Wednesday evening (HP&OOTP, what else?) with Auntie Serena, our family doctor and her family, and the family of one of the other doctors in the practice (10 seats, 11 people including Del, all together). i'll be posting the birth story on the yeungs.us website and putting the link in under the link to family pictures to your right, so it doesn't get buried as I get back to posting more regularly. pictures of Del and the rest of us are already up in in the family gallery tho I haven't added any in about a week now. Will try to add more later today. Need to make some phone calls to settle travel arrangements for Prophecy before I space out again.
Friday, June 22, 2007
Someone else's fantastic blog post
Really, there's only one blog that I generally bother to check regularly that is maintained by a "stranger" (well, at least someone whom I've never met in person and with whom my first contact was via their blog). It's the blog of TheLactivist.com - http://thelactivist.blogspot.com. Her most recent post found here was really something I needed to read after the emotions of the last week (as blogged below and other things not mentioned, at least as of yet - don't worry, Piglet and the rest of the in-house family is fine, as are all of our good friends to the best of my knowledge, and I'm still pregnant tho SO ready not to be anymore at this point, I'm ready to be able to hand the baby to someone else for 5 minutes or so now!).
Weird little coincidences have been cropping up in my life lately and Jen the Lactivist's post is just the latest (well, I've only been awake for about an hour so far today anyway - yes, I'm having trouble sleeping, no I do NOT enjoy being conscious at 6:30am for no necessary reason when my hubby is home and can be delegated care of the toddler so I could sleep more but my body isn't giving me a choice in the matter... please don't let this mean I'm about to bear a morning person! AAAAAAACK! Is that horror music I hear?!?).
Liam's awake (sort of) and spread himself across my lap (using the loveseat's armrest to hold the keyboard)... trying to convince him to go wake up daddy but it's not working. Must go fidget.
I said it in my comment on Jen's blog but I'll say it again here (for myself and for you guys to repeat as needed): You don't need to be Wonder Woman to be a Wonderful Woman.
Live your day in wonder, at least for a few minutes, for me, OK?
Weird little coincidences have been cropping up in my life lately and Jen the Lactivist's post is just the latest (well, I've only been awake for about an hour so far today anyway - yes, I'm having trouble sleeping, no I do NOT enjoy being conscious at 6:30am for no necessary reason when my hubby is home and can be delegated care of the toddler so I could sleep more but my body isn't giving me a choice in the matter... please don't let this mean I'm about to bear a morning person! AAAAAAACK! Is that horror music I hear?!?).
Liam's awake (sort of) and spread himself across my lap (using the loveseat's armrest to hold the keyboard)... trying to convince him to go wake up daddy but it's not working. Must go fidget.
I said it in my comment on Jen's blog but I'll say it again here (for myself and for you guys to repeat as needed): You don't need to be Wonder Woman to be a Wonderful Woman.
Live your day in wonder, at least for a few minutes, for me, OK?
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Googling myself, finding Father's Day 2006
I don't think I posted this here last year, but for those who didn't know, last Father's Day I served as Worship Associate and delivered 1/3rd of the sermon. Here's the text of what I said, in tribute to Garvin (since I was in a bit of a nesting snit and kinda blew off Father's Day this year).
Fathers of the Future
A Homily by Ahmie Yeung
Sunday, June 18, 2006
West Shore Unitarian Universalist Church
Rocky River, Ohio
In counting my blessings, which I try to do on a fairly regular basis, the constant presence of a strong male role model in my childhood is, unfortunately, absent from that list. I, like too many of my generation, was raised by a single mother struggling to do her best with little societal support. My father left us for another woman when I was two years old, the same age my own child is now, which is why there wasn’t a picture of my father in that slide show – while searching for an appropriate one of the two of us to use, I found plenty of my cats but none of myself with my dad.
The realities of growing up without much involvement from my biological father have had many varied effects on the person I’ve grown to be, not the least of which is an irresistible urge to growl and snarl when I hear self-righteous politicians talk about “defending marriage” and “strengthening families” by denying the status of “marriage” and “family” to people based on the genders of those involved. Nothing they’re proposing would have stopped my dad from walking out on us. Nothing they’re proposing makes my own husband a better father than he already is.
With the decisive lack of positive male role models in my gene pool, I was left to seek elsewhere for the kind of guidance that I felt an inner need to obtain. I was not raised as a regular church-goer, so I don’t have any wonderful stories of someone like Wayne here stepping into that role and guiding me through the rough patches that I weathered. I did, however, have some absolutely wonderful male public school teachers. In a typically female-dominated job of elementary teacher, I was blessed with the presence of three men who, for the years I knew them, filled a whole in my life during the daytime hours that went far beyond reading, writing, and arithmetic. Mr. Koester, my 6 th grade teacher, has the honor of a spot in the slide show tribute during our offering today, for being a positive role model of not just a male caring for and teaching children, but also as a spouse. Mr. Koester was the husband of the school’s physical education teacher. Watching the two of them interact - in their joking manner somewhat reminiscent of our own Bill Pearson’s humor – as he’d pop in to say “hi” during PE classes throughout my 6 years at North Star Elementary in Colorado, and then in my final year when she would occasionally be waiting for him in the hallway at the start of lunchtime, showed me a way of families working together that has shaped my own relationship with my husband nearly 2 decades later. I also honor and remember Mr. King, to whom I wasn’t assigned, who took me into his class’s embrace when one of his students, a friend of mine, was killed by a drunk driver in 5 th grade. His kindness started to heal my torn young soul, though it didn’t stop me from pouring every drop of alcohol down the drain when I got home. He listened when I spoke of the pain and fear I had that something like what happened to my friend’s family could happen to my household, where I only had my mother in the surrounding hundreds of miles. I see similarities of spirit between Mr. King and Jeffrey Lee, in the way he always leaves anyone he speaks to feel heard.
So, where has this lead me? Well, for a long time it lead me to really ignore the third Sunday in June as just another date on the calendar, sometimes in the last decade of couplehood remembering to send off cards to Garvin’s father and my own. Father’s Day really didn’t become a solid concept for me until two years ago, when Garvin got to celebrate his first Father’s Day as a dad before I got to celebrate my first Mother’s Day as a mom, since Liam was born between the two marks on the calendar. When I was young, I worried that I would follow the usual trend and marry someone like my opposite-gendered parent, but looking at my husband the similarities between the two men, my own father and my son’s father, are extremely limited – they’re both English-speaking men who married in their twenties and had their first child at the age of 27, and both of them are fond of science fiction and modern technology gizmos. But the similarities pretty much end there. Believe it or not, it actually wasn’t until I started thinking about what could I, someone who grew up with an absentee father, have to say in front of a church on Father’s Day, that it dawned on me. I did marry my surrogate opposite-sex parent. I married a teacher. May he go on to teach his own students, and our son, much more than just the information covered in their textbooks. Our own children, and his students at school, couldn’t ask for a better role model.
When in distress, go statistical
I'm such a Hermione.
Anyway, analysis of stuff going on inside my head since the news of the last post.
From the dates of the emails my uncle forwarded me, it looks like my sister wasn't released from the hospital for at least 3 days after the birth, which suggests she may have been the 3rd of my generation to birth via c-section (out of 4 of us thus far to have children). The baby is the 5th child of it's generation on that side of the family (as far as I know), and the one I'm carrying now will be the 6th (again, as far as I know). Liam was the 3rd born of his generation, but the first to be born vaginally (and also the first to be born in wedlock). One of my cousins who had a c-section (actually the first to birth of my generation) has since had a second child via VBAC (and had married her firstborn's father in between births).
So, as long as I'm not missing someone (I do also have male cousins and a brother, who presumably could have impregnated a girl that I'm not aware of - there are 15 members of my generation on that side of the family, 7 of us are female and one of the females is mildly mentally retarded, 3 of the girls are daughters of the uncle who informed me of my niece so I'm pretty sure if he'd had another grandchild he would have mentioned it on the phone, his eldest daughter - my only cousin older than I am - has been married for a few years now), and presuming that I'm able to birth this child as easily as I did Liam, and if I'm right about my sister's situation... out of the 6 members of Liam's generation, 3 were c-sections (50% section rate). All three of the other mothers of my generation were also 20-21 years old when their first babies were born (I was 27 when Liam was born). And all three of them had the constant presence of their fathers in their lives throughout their childhood (two of them are products of "intact" parental marriages and the other cousin has a very actively involved father).
I'm just marveling at the statistics a bit more because I don't fit in with them than any judgmental thing about unwed mothers or anything like that (heck, my mom had her second kid out of wedlock... my only real issue with it is how much more of a struggle it makes everything).
Another interesting factoid... of the 6 kids in Liam's generation, 5 are multiracial (apparently the father of my niece is Hispanic, and one of the cousins that has kids is herself half Puerto Rican, her kids' father is Mexican). Considering my paternal grandfather had a hissy fit and disowned my aunt for a couple years over her relationship with said Puerto Rican uncle (to whom she is still married ~30 years later, mind you - out of the 6 kids in my dad's generation only the two girls are still on their first marriages... 1 of the boys never married and my dad is on his second marriage, which has lasted ~27 years now)... I find it a little ironic that the majority of the great-grandchildren (thus far) of this guy are multiracial. This is my dad's dad, so you see, my dad comes by his dickwadness honestly at least. Like I mentioned in my comment response to Serena, we're taught how to cut one another out of our lives early and well in this family.
Oh, and since I blogged about it before... another interesting note. I've not cried about this finding out I'm an aunt thing. I'm a little surprised about that, since at this point the hormones have me crying over random commercials on prime time television. It's a dull ache but not the stabbing pain I thought it might be. I'm angry, but not surprised enough to be upset I guess. My dispassionate response at the moment is making me wonder how I'd have taken it if I'd heard a member of that side of the family died instead of being born.
Anyway, analysis of stuff going on inside my head since the news of the last post.
From the dates of the emails my uncle forwarded me, it looks like my sister wasn't released from the hospital for at least 3 days after the birth, which suggests she may have been the 3rd of my generation to birth via c-section (out of 4 of us thus far to have children). The baby is the 5th child of it's generation on that side of the family (as far as I know), and the one I'm carrying now will be the 6th (again, as far as I know). Liam was the 3rd born of his generation, but the first to be born vaginally (and also the first to be born in wedlock). One of my cousins who had a c-section (actually the first to birth of my generation) has since had a second child via VBAC (and had married her firstborn's father in between births).
So, as long as I'm not missing someone (I do also have male cousins and a brother, who presumably could have impregnated a girl that I'm not aware of - there are 15 members of my generation on that side of the family, 7 of us are female and one of the females is mildly mentally retarded, 3 of the girls are daughters of the uncle who informed me of my niece so I'm pretty sure if he'd had another grandchild he would have mentioned it on the phone, his eldest daughter - my only cousin older than I am - has been married for a few years now), and presuming that I'm able to birth this child as easily as I did Liam, and if I'm right about my sister's situation... out of the 6 members of Liam's generation, 3 were c-sections (50% section rate). All three of the other mothers of my generation were also 20-21 years old when their first babies were born (I was 27 when Liam was born). And all three of them had the constant presence of their fathers in their lives throughout their childhood (two of them are products of "intact" parental marriages and the other cousin has a very actively involved father).
I'm just marveling at the statistics a bit more because I don't fit in with them than any judgmental thing about unwed mothers or anything like that (heck, my mom had her second kid out of wedlock... my only real issue with it is how much more of a struggle it makes everything).
Another interesting factoid... of the 6 kids in Liam's generation, 5 are multiracial (apparently the father of my niece is Hispanic, and one of the cousins that has kids is herself half Puerto Rican, her kids' father is Mexican). Considering my paternal grandfather had a hissy fit and disowned my aunt for a couple years over her relationship with said Puerto Rican uncle (to whom she is still married ~30 years later, mind you - out of the 6 kids in my dad's generation only the two girls are still on their first marriages... 1 of the boys never married and my dad is on his second marriage, which has lasted ~27 years now)... I find it a little ironic that the majority of the great-grandchildren (thus far) of this guy are multiracial. This is my dad's dad, so you see, my dad comes by his dickwadness honestly at least. Like I mentioned in my comment response to Serena, we're taught how to cut one another out of our lives early and well in this family.
Oh, and since I blogged about it before... another interesting note. I've not cried about this finding out I'm an aunt thing. I'm a little surprised about that, since at this point the hormones have me crying over random commercials on prime time television. It's a dull ache but not the stabbing pain I thought it might be. I'm angry, but not surprised enough to be upset I guess. My dispassionate response at the moment is making me wonder how I'd have taken it if I'd heard a member of that side of the family died instead of being born.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Apparently I'm an aunt - or reason number 2349873450725 my father is a dickwad
So I just got off the phone with my uncle in Virginia, whose middle daughter is getting married this Saturday (obviously we can't make it to the wedding). We had a nice conversation about why my father hasn't seen his grandson since June 2004, and it came up in conversation that apparently my sister had a baby girl on October 25, 2006. Born right around when I was starting to suspect I was pregnant this time around (I tested positive for pregnancy at home 2 days later). My uncle forwarded on the emails with tons of pictures, my father and his wife are apparently "SOOOOOOOOOO" thrilled with their little granddaughter (not kidding, the emails that were allegedly coming from my father's email address had the extra vowel thing like that going on, but they were signed with both his and his wife's names and I'm willing to bet that she wrote them because I've known her to use his email address before even though she has her own). How nice that they're celebrating when they've not bothered to even CALL me and see how we're doing, and there was clearly no attempt to include me in the email they sent out. Yes, he has my email address. He has my mother's phone number. He made no attempt.
Fuck him.
Seriously. Why do I bother feeling a sense of loss over not having this jackass in my life? I really do sometimes think my kids are better off believing that the majority of that side of the family all died in a train wreck or something. I've been wondering how I'm going to explain the absence of all these people from our lives that are in our wedding pictures, especially the ones that are clearly "extra important people" (i.e. my dad's other two kids, my dad) in the pictures that have very few people in them. I was fascinated by my parents' wedding album in early childhood, I remember pulling it out and thumbing through it even though my parents had been divorced for years by that point (they divorced when I was 2 1/2). That's the major concern I have. How am I going to explain this dickwad's absence to my kids? I just know the day isn't too far off when Liam asks me "who is that man putting a necklace on you, Mama?"
Fucking dickwad. It's a shame I'm too old to claim to have been a sperm bank baby.
Fuck him.
Seriously. Why do I bother feeling a sense of loss over not having this jackass in my life? I really do sometimes think my kids are better off believing that the majority of that side of the family all died in a train wreck or something. I've been wondering how I'm going to explain the absence of all these people from our lives that are in our wedding pictures, especially the ones that are clearly "extra important people" (i.e. my dad's other two kids, my dad) in the pictures that have very few people in them. I was fascinated by my parents' wedding album in early childhood, I remember pulling it out and thumbing through it even though my parents had been divorced for years by that point (they divorced when I was 2 1/2). That's the major concern I have. How am I going to explain this dickwad's absence to my kids? I just know the day isn't too far off when Liam asks me "who is that man putting a necklace on you, Mama?"
Fucking dickwad. It's a shame I'm too old to claim to have been a sperm bank baby.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Awake too early and really pissed at my spouse
You know, there's a REASON I tell the guy to do things a certain way. Like advising him to discuss Chinese names for this baby back in late February, before his father went to visit his brothers (who speak English better than he does), instead of being an idiot like last time and avoiding the subject until my last month of pregnancy. But no. Mister Conflict-Avoidant couldn't quite seem to bring up the discussion until the last few days, when I'm even CLOSER to my due date than I was when we had the big blow up about Liam's Chinese name (for those who don't already know, the first time they got Garvin's cousin to email me an attempt at spelling it for the birth certificate, the email I got said my firstborn son's name should be Charmin. Yes, exactly like the toilet paper. And it resulted in a big screaming argument over long-distance phone lines and me throwing slippers and such at walls until *I*, in all my resplendant late pregnancy patience, suggested we go with the Mandarin spelling and pronounciation instead, which is how the child came to have Zhuo-Ming on his birth certificate instead of a brand of toilet paper since his DADDY wouldn't fucking stand up and say "NO" to his grandfather about this).
So what's the problem? This time the suggestion for the second character (first is determined by generation) is Yin. For boy or girl. The way that the English-to-Cantonese websites spell the boy version is Cheuk-Yin. Not so bad, right? Here's the problem. When my fluent-Cantonese-speaking in-laws say Liam's name in Cantonese - Cheuk-Ming - it sounds to my English ears like "Chirk-min(g)" (the g is barely there). Now let's say it together with Yin instead of Ming... "Chirk-yin"... sounds an awful lot like "chicken" to me, especially after watching way too much Robot Chicken before going to bed last night (hey, it was the Star Wars special. Twice) and waking up to release a lot more liquid than I usually do into the toilet at 5am, making me wonder if I've sprung a little bit of a amno leak. Then going back to bed and having the baby get the hiccups... which distinctly felt like pecking at my lower uterus.
So I kicked Garvin out of bed at about 5:45 in tears after repeatedly trying to go back to sleep only to visualize giving birth to a baby boy covered in downy little white feathers every time I closed my eyes (ah, the joys of a pregnant brain). His dad is usually up at 5am anyway, I told Garvin that if *I* can't sleep because of something that is quite distinctively and avoidably his fault, there's no fucking way in hell he gets to sleep in either. He's downstairs now talking to his dad (maybe his mom too, don't know if she went into work early today or not). I don't feel the need to be part of the conversation but I swear, if he doesn't come back with some acceptable-to-English-ears options, if this baby is a boy his middle name will be Charles (after my grand-uncle who was the family photographer - sorry, Uncle Chuck, but I don't like your name enough for a first name). And I'm NOT going through the fuss of changing the name birth certificate later. The argument last time about "It's a good name in Chinese" stamp-stamp-stamp-pout-pout (from Garvin's father's end of the conversation - that was about all he'd say on the subject) doesn't hold water. They call Liam by his Cantonese name in public pretty much at every opportunity. I'm NOT having them call my second son what sounds like "chicken" in public. The kid's not growing up in Hong Kong, it's growing up in a ~95% native-English-speaking suburb of Cleveland (and that other very small minority of non-native English speakers are mostly Spanish speakers - if there are more than a handful of non-US-born Asian families in Lakewood I'd be surprised, from what I remember the census said there were ~800 Asians total in the suburb, quite likely including hapas like our kids).
The fact that Garvin's parents WON'T be refering to a second grandson by his English nickname doesn't help matters at all - the name we have picked out is Delano, Del for short... well... Del sounds like the Cantonese word for "throw away" (aka disposable). So they'll likely be relying on the Chinese name even more than they do for Liam (who I'd estimate gets called Cheuk-Ming about a quarter of the time by them, when they're just around the house... when we went out to lunch with their Cantonese-speaking friends from church, it was more like 80% of the time at least).
I consider myself a very patient preggo that my husband is not severely bruised at this point in time. I didn't even smack him repeatedly with the pillow. Especially considering that Liam was projectile vomiting last night for no decernable reason, setting off the mama hormones and preggo nose quite nicely, part of the reason that I didn't get to sleep until after 1:30am in the first place... so all this is on about 3.5hrs sleep (minus a bathroom trip and wake-up-in-pain-with-a-shin-splint in there somewhere).
So what's the problem? This time the suggestion for the second character (first is determined by generation) is Yin. For boy or girl. The way that the English-to-Cantonese websites spell the boy version is Cheuk-Yin. Not so bad, right? Here's the problem. When my fluent-Cantonese-speaking in-laws say Liam's name in Cantonese - Cheuk-Ming - it sounds to my English ears like "Chirk-min(g)" (the g is barely there). Now let's say it together with Yin instead of Ming... "Chirk-yin"... sounds an awful lot like "chicken" to me, especially after watching way too much Robot Chicken before going to bed last night (hey, it was the Star Wars special. Twice) and waking up to release a lot more liquid than I usually do into the toilet at 5am, making me wonder if I've sprung a little bit of a amno leak. Then going back to bed and having the baby get the hiccups... which distinctly felt like pecking at my lower uterus.
So I kicked Garvin out of bed at about 5:45 in tears after repeatedly trying to go back to sleep only to visualize giving birth to a baby boy covered in downy little white feathers every time I closed my eyes (ah, the joys of a pregnant brain). His dad is usually up at 5am anyway, I told Garvin that if *I* can't sleep because of something that is quite distinctively and avoidably his fault, there's no fucking way in hell he gets to sleep in either. He's downstairs now talking to his dad (maybe his mom too, don't know if she went into work early today or not). I don't feel the need to be part of the conversation but I swear, if he doesn't come back with some acceptable-to-English-ears options, if this baby is a boy his middle name will be Charles (after my grand-uncle who was the family photographer - sorry, Uncle Chuck, but I don't like your name enough for a first name). And I'm NOT going through the fuss of changing the name birth certificate later. The argument last time about "It's a good name in Chinese" stamp-stamp-stamp-pout-pout (from Garvin's father's end of the conversation - that was about all he'd say on the subject) doesn't hold water. They call Liam by his Cantonese name in public pretty much at every opportunity. I'm NOT having them call my second son what sounds like "chicken" in public. The kid's not growing up in Hong Kong, it's growing up in a ~95% native-English-speaking suburb of Cleveland (and that other very small minority of non-native English speakers are mostly Spanish speakers - if there are more than a handful of non-US-born Asian families in Lakewood I'd be surprised, from what I remember the census said there were ~800 Asians total in the suburb, quite likely including hapas like our kids).
The fact that Garvin's parents WON'T be refering to a second grandson by his English nickname doesn't help matters at all - the name we have picked out is Delano, Del for short... well... Del sounds like the Cantonese word for "throw away" (aka disposable). So they'll likely be relying on the Chinese name even more than they do for Liam (who I'd estimate gets called Cheuk-Ming about a quarter of the time by them, when they're just around the house... when we went out to lunch with their Cantonese-speaking friends from church, it was more like 80% of the time at least).
I consider myself a very patient preggo that my husband is not severely bruised at this point in time. I didn't even smack him repeatedly with the pillow. Especially considering that Liam was projectile vomiting last night for no decernable reason, setting off the mama hormones and preggo nose quite nicely, part of the reason that I didn't get to sleep until after 1:30am in the first place... so all this is on about 3.5hrs sleep (minus a bathroom trip and wake-up-in-pain-with-a-shin-splint in there somewhere).
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Yup, still pregnant
Just had a bit of a busy week "organizing" (what a misnomer when it comes to something I do, eh?) a Potter-Fest at church yesterday, so I've been non-responsive to unrelated emails and haven't posted in the flurry of last-minute preparations (such as making Questionable Quality Quidditch Supplies and a few dozen chocolate frogs and such).
Just realized that some folks don't know about (and a couple other reader/lurkers need to update their email addresses with) the yahoo group I set up when I was expecting Liam. If you'd like an email notification when the baby is born, you can subscribe to the email list right here:
The group is set to only allow moderators to post and any replies go to the list owner (me) so you won't get spam through it. I'm planning to make folks who are/plan to be present for the birth into moderators so any of them can send off an email to the group when they've got a free hand to do so (assuming that Garvin and my hands will be rather busy with the then-two extrauterine kiddos). I'll post the full birth story here so that folks who DON'T want the gorey details on that email list just get the basic stats (tho I'm considering making the folks with blogger accounts that are likely to be here for the birth temporary editors or whatever it is on this blog so they can post the gorey details here from their perspective if they'd like ;) ). If only Blogger had the feature like LJ does that you can hide part of the post so people have to click on it to get the "spoiler" information or whatever... I think there's a way to do it but I haven't figured it out yet. Whatever.
Feet are very swollen, pelvis is unthrilled with the abuse I've been putting it through and I keep getting charlie horses at night (3x last night, not fun, poor Garvin got screamed at for not using the right technique to help because it wound up further pissing off my psoas muscle in the process - I yelled at him more last night than I did during the entire 5 days of labor with Liam I think). Other than that the baby and I are fine. Baby's been getting hiccups at least once a day noticably lately and is wiggling it's knees and feet in my ribs as I type this.
Any day now, little one, any day now.
Just realized that some folks don't know about (and a couple other reader/lurkers need to update their email addresses with) the yahoo group I set up when I was expecting Liam. If you'd like an email notification when the baby is born, you can subscribe to the email list right here:
The group is set to only allow moderators to post and any replies go to the list owner (me) so you won't get spam through it. I'm planning to make folks who are/plan to be present for the birth into moderators so any of them can send off an email to the group when they've got a free hand to do so (assuming that Garvin and my hands will be rather busy with the then-two extrauterine kiddos). I'll post the full birth story here so that folks who DON'T want the gorey details on that email list just get the basic stats (tho I'm considering making the folks with blogger accounts that are likely to be here for the birth temporary editors or whatever it is on this blog so they can post the gorey details here from their perspective if they'd like ;) ). If only Blogger had the feature like LJ does that you can hide part of the post so people have to click on it to get the "spoiler" information or whatever... I think there's a way to do it but I haven't figured it out yet. Whatever.
Feet are very swollen, pelvis is unthrilled with the abuse I've been putting it through and I keep getting charlie horses at night (3x last night, not fun, poor Garvin got screamed at for not using the right technique to help because it wound up further pissing off my psoas muscle in the process - I yelled at him more last night than I did during the entire 5 days of labor with Liam I think). Other than that the baby and I are fine. Baby's been getting hiccups at least once a day noticably lately and is wiggling it's knees and feet in my ribs as I type this.
Any day now, little one, any day now.
Friday, June 01, 2007
Breastfeeding in public
Probably getting more obsessed with this concept since I'll be doing it again so soon (when Liam could handle finger foods I "weaned" him from nursing in public because it was simply too hard on my arms/back, so it's been probably almost 2 years since I've nursed in public regularly). I was sorting through pictures to upload to our online photo gallery and came across many pictures of Liam nursing (gee, considering the percentage of his time he spent doing it, big surprise there). None of them have us covered, and the ones in public places you pretty much have to KNOW what you're looking for to realize what you're seeing (which is part of the argument I have with "certain people who shall remain nameless" about how "no one ever does THAT in the US" - yes, they do, you just look right past them without realizing it...)
So I ask you, which is more discreet... this type of breastfeeding in public:
(both of the above images are swiped from commercial websites wanting to sell you these nursing covers, which I have problems with on two counts - one, it furthers the idea that breastfeeding is something that should be hidden and hence bottlefeeding is more "convenient" and two, it's just another way to commercialize motherhood and make money off of people's insecurities, so I'm being evil and not linking to them. After looking through a few hundred results of google images for "breastfeeding blanket", "breastfeeding cover", and "breastfeeding drape" I couldn't find a SINGLE NON-COMMERCIAL PICTURE of a mother covering herself with a blanket to nurse - surprise surprise).
Or are these more discrete:
(funny, i think I'm wearing the same outfit both times, the first one he's less than a month old because that was when we still lived in Virginia, the second one he's about 2 months old at the Feast of the Assumption)
Yes, I'm using a sling in both pictures, which adds to the ease of being discrete, but I've shown an equal amount of skin when not using a sling, just can't find those pictures (the one that wound up in the Plain Dealer of me nursing Liam at the CWRU bookstore would be an example).
I swear I'm going to take one of the five trillion receiving blankets we have around here and write on it in big red letters "HEY LOOK I'M BREASTFEEDING!" and keep that in the diaper bag in case anyone gives me crap this time, see if that makes them more "comfortable".. or at least it'd be fun for a photo-op ;) I've got a couple lactivist pictures that I want to take floating in my mind as it is. I'll post them here when I do them (one of them will probably be in the coming weeks while I'm still pregnant).
So I ask you, which is more discreet... this type of breastfeeding in public:
(both of the above images are swiped from commercial websites wanting to sell you these nursing covers, which I have problems with on two counts - one, it furthers the idea that breastfeeding is something that should be hidden and hence bottlefeeding is more "convenient" and two, it's just another way to commercialize motherhood and make money off of people's insecurities, so I'm being evil and not linking to them. After looking through a few hundred results of google images for "breastfeeding blanket", "breastfeeding cover", and "breastfeeding drape" I couldn't find a SINGLE NON-COMMERCIAL PICTURE of a mother covering herself with a blanket to nurse - surprise surprise).
Or are these more discrete:
(funny, i think I'm wearing the same outfit both times, the first one he's less than a month old because that was when we still lived in Virginia, the second one he's about 2 months old at the Feast of the Assumption)
Yes, I'm using a sling in both pictures, which adds to the ease of being discrete, but I've shown an equal amount of skin when not using a sling, just can't find those pictures (the one that wound up in the Plain Dealer of me nursing Liam at the CWRU bookstore would be an example).
I swear I'm going to take one of the five trillion receiving blankets we have around here and write on it in big red letters "HEY LOOK I'M BREASTFEEDING!" and keep that in the diaper bag in case anyone gives me crap this time, see if that makes them more "comfortable".. or at least it'd be fun for a photo-op ;) I've got a couple lactivist pictures that I want to take floating in my mind as it is. I'll post them here when I do them (one of them will probably be in the coming weeks while I'm still pregnant).
A good reason NOT to use those "private nursing areas" in malls
Breastfeeding mother groped in mall
In Australia, a mom of a newborn was approached and sexually assaulted by some sicko in one of those "family rooms" that "breastfeeding friendly" retail locations are becoming increasingly fond of. (granted, the baby was a WEEK OLD and Mama may have still been adjusting to the whole task of breastfeeding and desired the extra privacy, and this particular instance the room is also a baby changing room so she may have just been multitasking - frequently right after needing to be changed a newborn needs to nurse, after all, so I totally give her the benefit of the doubt)
Think about it, if she'd been sitting out in a chair in the middle of the mall, would this have happened? Most likely not, or at least someone could have come to her aid sooner.
If malls really want to have those separate areas, they need to make them MUCH more secure for moms out by themselves, such as by stationing a security guard nearby and/or having cameras WITH AUDIO that someone is PAYING ATTENTION TO installed, in case of such an event. The one example locally of such a separate room that I can call to mind (Great Northern Mall, North Olmsted, Ohio) is set WAY back down a LONG, infrequently used by non-parents hallway between a major department store and the side of some other stores. A woman screaming for help in such a place would only be heard if someone happened to be in the hallway about to enter, or possibly through the wall to the store next to the room, but would they know where the call was coming from? Would they react? The social psychologist in me knows human nature too well to think they would jump to the rescue, even if they DID realize where the call for help was coming from - human nature assumes "someone else" will do it, especially in a place with paid security staff.
This is why I will NEVER use one of those rooms off all by themselves, without another adult with me. Too vulnerable. I'd rather nurse right out in the open in the middle of the main hallway where the staff can see if someone is harrassing or ASSAULTING me! And I'll change diapers in the regular restroom, thankyouverymuch, which have much higher traffic than those special rooms do. Even at Babies R Us kind of stores. THIS is why we need to demistify breastfeeding and work to make it common and acceptable to do it in public instead of locked off in "private" areas.
In Australia, a mom of a newborn was approached and sexually assaulted by some sicko in one of those "family rooms" that "breastfeeding friendly" retail locations are becoming increasingly fond of. (granted, the baby was a WEEK OLD and Mama may have still been adjusting to the whole task of breastfeeding and desired the extra privacy, and this particular instance the room is also a baby changing room so she may have just been multitasking - frequently right after needing to be changed a newborn needs to nurse, after all, so I totally give her the benefit of the doubt)
Think about it, if she'd been sitting out in a chair in the middle of the mall, would this have happened? Most likely not, or at least someone could have come to her aid sooner.
If malls really want to have those separate areas, they need to make them MUCH more secure for moms out by themselves, such as by stationing a security guard nearby and/or having cameras WITH AUDIO that someone is PAYING ATTENTION TO installed, in case of such an event. The one example locally of such a separate room that I can call to mind (Great Northern Mall, North Olmsted, Ohio) is set WAY back down a LONG, infrequently used by non-parents hallway between a major department store and the side of some other stores. A woman screaming for help in such a place would only be heard if someone happened to be in the hallway about to enter, or possibly through the wall to the store next to the room, but would they know where the call was coming from? Would they react? The social psychologist in me knows human nature too well to think they would jump to the rescue, even if they DID realize where the call for help was coming from - human nature assumes "someone else" will do it, especially in a place with paid security staff.
This is why I will NEVER use one of those rooms off all by themselves, without another adult with me. Too vulnerable. I'd rather nurse right out in the open in the middle of the main hallway where the staff can see if someone is harrassing or ASSAULTING me! And I'll change diapers in the regular restroom, thankyouverymuch, which have much higher traffic than those special rooms do. Even at Babies R Us kind of stores. THIS is why we need to demistify breastfeeding and work to make it common and acceptable to do it in public instead of locked off in "private" areas.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Supreme Court says Equal Pay for Equal Work is only good for 180 days?!?
I'm so outraged I can't even forward an email properly, so here's a cut-and-paste of what the automatically generated "forward the message on" thing is when you sign the online petition... I'm flabbergasted by this!
****end Ahmie's actual ability to write about this sanely & without profanity****
I just signed a petition in response to the recent Supreme Court ruling that was a huge blow to equal pay for equal work, and I hope you will too.
THE LOWDOWN ON THE ISSUE & PETITION LINK: The Supreme Court just told Lilly Ledbetter, a 60-year old "fiery mother of two," that even though, for years, she was paid between 15% and 40% less than her male counterparts on the management team (a fact she learned late in her 19 year career), she could not make a claim of workplace discrimination. Why couldn't she make a claim? Lily Ledbetter learned about the pay discrepancies too late. The court ruled that claims must be made within 180 days after the pay is set. But how many of us know what our co-workers make? In fact, it's illegal to ask in many states.
Justice Ruth Ginsburg wrote the dissenting opinion for the 5-to-4 decision, and in it she asked Congress to overturn the ruling and clarify the intent of the law. Several Congressional leaders are already stepping forward to counter this outrage by drafting new fair-minded legislation. Let's get behind them so they can pass this legislation immediately.
SIGN THE PETITION & PASS IT ON: Tell Congress, "We Need Equal Pay for Equal Work--it is good law, make it enforceable!":
Sign the petition and then pass it on to friends so we can build support for the Congressional leaders who are stepping forward to right this wrong. Frankly, they need our help--because as the Washington Post reports, business groups, such as the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, are applauding this dangerous, short-sighted ruling.
CITIZEN VOICES ARE CRUCIAL: Citizen voices are going to be crucial to giving leaders the "political capital" they require to fix this problem. Here's what several of the key leaders who are fighting for us have to say about the ruling:
"Yesterday's Supreme Court decision reflects a poor understanding of the real problems with long-term pay discrimination," said Senator Harkin. "Most new employees feel less comfortable challenging their salaries, and it is very difficult to determine when pay discrimination begins. Furthermore, a small pay gap tends to widen over time, only becoming noticeable when there is systemic discrimination over a period of years. I look forward to working with my Senate colleagues to ensure every worker receives the paycheck he or she deserves."
"Unless Congress Acts, this Supreme Court ruling will have far-reaching implications for women, and will gravely limit the rights of employees who have suffered pay discrimination based on their race, sex, religion or national origin. All Americans deserve equal pay for equal work and it is our responsibility to get this right," said Senator Clinton.
"This week's Supreme Court decision sends a dangerous message about the value of pay equity in this country. It is unacceptable that women and others would be limited in their opportunities to stand up for themselves and for their families. I am proud to team up with my colleagues to right this wrong," said Senator Mikulski.
"As Justice Ginsburg suggests, the ball has now fallen into Congress' court and we intend to address this ruling," said Representative George Miller (D-CA), chairman of the House Education and Labor Committee. "The Supreme Court's narrow decision makes it more difficult for workers to stand up for their basic civil rights at work and that is unacceptable."
*Don't forget to sign the petition and pass it along to friends and family as well. Let's support the Congressional leaders who are coming forward to right this wrong. Sign on here
Best - The MomsRising Team
p.s. Have you experienced workplace discrimination? What happened? Share your story and experiences at: http://www.momsrising.org/node/536
p.p.s. Want to read more about it? Here are some good articles:
- Washington Post
- CNN Money
- New York Times
Thank you!
(note: edited by Ahmie to make the links clickable and to keep them from stretching the screen)
****end Ahmie's actual ability to write about this sanely & without profanity****
I just signed a petition in response to the recent Supreme Court ruling that was a huge blow to equal pay for equal work, and I hope you will too.
THE LOWDOWN ON THE ISSUE & PETITION LINK: The Supreme Court just told Lilly Ledbetter, a 60-year old "fiery mother of two," that even though, for years, she was paid between 15% and 40% less than her male counterparts on the management team (a fact she learned late in her 19 year career), she could not make a claim of workplace discrimination. Why couldn't she make a claim? Lily Ledbetter learned about the pay discrepancies too late. The court ruled that claims must be made within 180 days after the pay is set. But how many of us know what our co-workers make? In fact, it's illegal to ask in many states.
Justice Ruth Ginsburg wrote the dissenting opinion for the 5-to-4 decision, and in it she asked Congress to overturn the ruling and clarify the intent of the law. Several Congressional leaders are already stepping forward to counter this outrage by drafting new fair-minded legislation. Let's get behind them so they can pass this legislation immediately.
SIGN THE PETITION & PASS IT ON: Tell Congress, "We Need Equal Pay for Equal Work--it is good law, make it enforceable!":
Sign the petition and then pass it on to friends so we can build support for the Congressional leaders who are stepping forward to right this wrong. Frankly, they need our help--because as the Washington Post reports, business groups, such as the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, are applauding this dangerous, short-sighted ruling.
CITIZEN VOICES ARE CRUCIAL: Citizen voices are going to be crucial to giving leaders the "political capital" they require to fix this problem. Here's what several of the key leaders who are fighting for us have to say about the ruling:
"Yesterday's Supreme Court decision reflects a poor understanding of the real problems with long-term pay discrimination," said Senator Harkin. "Most new employees feel less comfortable challenging their salaries, and it is very difficult to determine when pay discrimination begins. Furthermore, a small pay gap tends to widen over time, only becoming noticeable when there is systemic discrimination over a period of years. I look forward to working with my Senate colleagues to ensure every worker receives the paycheck he or she deserves."
"Unless Congress Acts, this Supreme Court ruling will have far-reaching implications for women, and will gravely limit the rights of employees who have suffered pay discrimination based on their race, sex, religion or national origin. All Americans deserve equal pay for equal work and it is our responsibility to get this right," said Senator Clinton.
"This week's Supreme Court decision sends a dangerous message about the value of pay equity in this country. It is unacceptable that women and others would be limited in their opportunities to stand up for themselves and for their families. I am proud to team up with my colleagues to right this wrong," said Senator Mikulski.
"As Justice Ginsburg suggests, the ball has now fallen into Congress' court and we intend to address this ruling," said Representative George Miller (D-CA), chairman of the House Education and Labor Committee. "The Supreme Court's narrow decision makes it more difficult for workers to stand up for their basic civil rights at work and that is unacceptable."
*Don't forget to sign the petition and pass it along to friends and family as well. Let's support the Congressional leaders who are coming forward to right this wrong. Sign on here
Best - The MomsRising Team
p.s. Have you experienced workplace discrimination? What happened? Share your story and experiences at: http://www.momsrising.org/node/536
p.p.s. Want to read more about it? Here are some good articles:
- Washington Post
- CNN Money
- New York Times
Thank you!
(note: edited by Ahmie to make the links clickable and to keep them from stretching the screen)
8 things about me
Ok, so Jennifer (the Lactivist) tagged me... serves me right for posting comments on her blog that rival the comments on this thing I guess ;)
I have no idea if I can actually come up with 8 things that every single person who regularly reads this blog doesn't already know... And given how long I've been online (14 years as of sometime in June), it's frightening how much information about me is already available online, especially for those who know my pre-marriage name(s) and the various online aliases I've used over the years.
I'll give it my best shot...
1. I aspire to learn carpentry and car repair. I'm ashamed of how little mechanical skills I actually have in the "real world usefulness" category. Somehow having mad skillz at crochet, photography, baking, and lactating just don't seem enough some days - probably because I fully expect Liam to break houses and cars and need to be able to fix them.
2. I can't deal with music on an extended basis, my skin starts to crawl if I have to hear music for more than a couple hours, even if it's music I like.
3. I feel an overwhelming sense of joy when I watch someone enjoying something I've created (see "mad skillz" of #1). It's an emotional/physiological high about equal to that of nursing Liam when he was tiny and new and didn't try to break my nose.
4. I want to go skydiving or at least hang-gliding. But not over water (not afraid of water, just really don't like the smell of large bodies of water).
5. Sometimes I feel an overwhelming sense of longing for specific people I'm really not sure I ever want my children to be around. These specific people are not good for my own mental health either. I still miss them desperately sometimes. Hint: several of them are in my wedding album.
6. I am terribly addicted to television. As much as I can't stand music for extended periods of time, I have trouble sleeping without noise and light changes. This is a really bad habit but it's worsened with the frequent bathroom wakings followed by insomnia I'm currently experiencing in the pregnancy. It doesn't really matter what's on (as long as it's not music or violence), but I need SOMETHING to distract my ticking brain at 3am when I'm trying to settle for the 4th time that night. Audiobooks aren't working at this point but I'm trying to go back to them instead (they're a little TOO interesting).
7. I realized at a church service recently that I'm more afraid of losing my memories of my children than of losing them physically. I think I could cope better (not well, but better in some sense) with losing a child (terrifying, horrible thought that it is) than I could with realizing that I was losing my memories of them and facing not recognizing them at all, as I watched my great-grandmother go through. Someone said at least I wouldn't realize that I was forgetting, but from having been around people in early stages of dementia, I do think that the majority of them realize that they are losing it. The thought terrifies me more than anything. I'm trying hard not to cry.
8. Which brings up the other thing about Ahmie that doesn't come up much I guess... I HATE crying (not other's crying, my own). The feeling of prickling tears behind my eyelids infuriates me, partially because I know that I'll likely wind up with a sinus and ear infection if I don't reign it in, as well as the "beaten by a professional boxer" feeling I'm physically left with for days afterwards, and partially because of the mental weakness and vulnerability others perceive in it. The strength of my mind is the thing about myself that I most admire, and it's too easily dismissed when I start crying. I don't discourage crying in others, nor see them as weak when they cry (I do try to comfort anyone I perceive to be in emotional distress, tears or no). I also get really pissed off and lose respect for anyone who DOES treat me as mentally weak or vulnerable when I'm upset and it's one of the few things someone can do to *me* to get on my bad side (I'm more likely to get pissed off at people for things they do to others and shrug off things - at least eventually - that they've done to me). Tears limit my ability to be pro-active... I think that's what it boils down to.
So, how many of those did you folks who actually read this thing already know? Is ANY of it new information???
I tag Sabrina because she's been talking about others instead of herself, Clare because she's a great person even when Willow isn't around, and Garvin because - shesh - it's been nearly a YEAR since the guy's posted on his blog! COME ON!
Serena, I didn't tag you because I can't remember the link to your blog ;) I'll ask you for it next chance i remember, or post it in the comments and consider yourself tagged too!
I have no idea if I can actually come up with 8 things that every single person who regularly reads this blog doesn't already know... And given how long I've been online (14 years as of sometime in June), it's frightening how much information about me is already available online, especially for those who know my pre-marriage name(s) and the various online aliases I've used over the years.
I'll give it my best shot...
1. I aspire to learn carpentry and car repair. I'm ashamed of how little mechanical skills I actually have in the "real world usefulness" category. Somehow having mad skillz at crochet, photography, baking, and lactating just don't seem enough some days - probably because I fully expect Liam to break houses and cars and need to be able to fix them.
2. I can't deal with music on an extended basis, my skin starts to crawl if I have to hear music for more than a couple hours, even if it's music I like.
3. I feel an overwhelming sense of joy when I watch someone enjoying something I've created (see "mad skillz" of #1). It's an emotional/physiological high about equal to that of nursing Liam when he was tiny and new and didn't try to break my nose.
4. I want to go skydiving or at least hang-gliding. But not over water (not afraid of water, just really don't like the smell of large bodies of water).
5. Sometimes I feel an overwhelming sense of longing for specific people I'm really not sure I ever want my children to be around. These specific people are not good for my own mental health either. I still miss them desperately sometimes. Hint: several of them are in my wedding album.
6. I am terribly addicted to television. As much as I can't stand music for extended periods of time, I have trouble sleeping without noise and light changes. This is a really bad habit but it's worsened with the frequent bathroom wakings followed by insomnia I'm currently experiencing in the pregnancy. It doesn't really matter what's on (as long as it's not music or violence), but I need SOMETHING to distract my ticking brain at 3am when I'm trying to settle for the 4th time that night. Audiobooks aren't working at this point but I'm trying to go back to them instead (they're a little TOO interesting).
7. I realized at a church service recently that I'm more afraid of losing my memories of my children than of losing them physically. I think I could cope better (not well, but better in some sense) with losing a child (terrifying, horrible thought that it is) than I could with realizing that I was losing my memories of them and facing not recognizing them at all, as I watched my great-grandmother go through. Someone said at least I wouldn't realize that I was forgetting, but from having been around people in early stages of dementia, I do think that the majority of them realize that they are losing it. The thought terrifies me more than anything. I'm trying hard not to cry.
8. Which brings up the other thing about Ahmie that doesn't come up much I guess... I HATE crying (not other's crying, my own). The feeling of prickling tears behind my eyelids infuriates me, partially because I know that I'll likely wind up with a sinus and ear infection if I don't reign it in, as well as the "beaten by a professional boxer" feeling I'm physically left with for days afterwards, and partially because of the mental weakness and vulnerability others perceive in it. The strength of my mind is the thing about myself that I most admire, and it's too easily dismissed when I start crying. I don't discourage crying in others, nor see them as weak when they cry (I do try to comfort anyone I perceive to be in emotional distress, tears or no). I also get really pissed off and lose respect for anyone who DOES treat me as mentally weak or vulnerable when I'm upset and it's one of the few things someone can do to *me* to get on my bad side (I'm more likely to get pissed off at people for things they do to others and shrug off things - at least eventually - that they've done to me). Tears limit my ability to be pro-active... I think that's what it boils down to.
So, how many of those did you folks who actually read this thing already know? Is ANY of it new information???
I tag Sabrina because she's been talking about others instead of herself, Clare because she's a great person even when Willow isn't around, and Garvin because - shesh - it's been nearly a YEAR since the guy's posted on his blog! COME ON!
Serena, I didn't tag you because I can't remember the link to your blog ;) I'll ask you for it next chance i remember, or post it in the comments and consider yourself tagged too!
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Why I hate trying to delegate work...
Ugh. So I tried to delegate some of the "job" (entirely volunteer) of getting podcasts up for my church to someone that was suggested by one of the office staff members. I'm trying VERY HARD to be patient and not blow up at this person, which the pregnancy hormones and frustration with being alone with a toddler with approximately 300 times my energy level NOT helping maintain my cool even when the temperature DOES stay below 75 degrees... I had specifically asked this person to follow the steps in the tutorial I created (I even did a long and short version of the tutorial in case people involved were total beginners or a bit more experienced). Apparently all that the person retained was "this is the username and password, log in and click the words create content then audio" - the files that are getting created are NOT being named according to the naming conventions I specified (which enables them to be sorted by the date of service instead of whatever random order the files were actually created - it's too easy to have a stack of CDs get out of order when they get backlogged, which of course they did as soon as I tried to job share... I'd been getting them created and uploaded before I left the building before this, then none got created for over a MONTH because the CDs kept disappearing so I couldn't do it myself... *headdesk* *headdesk *headdesk*). The URL Path isn't getting set to ANYTHING so the URL winds up being something random instead of something the office staff who upload the text of the sermons to the main church website can predict and incorporate easily into their workflow. And the title line's been being changed instead of leaving it to the code that I had inserted to take the information from the ID3 tags.
Classic case of RTFM, and since in this case *I* created the "FM" in question, I'm fuming. But it's "just" a volunteer thing, so I can't get mad, right? Grr.... *I* am doing this as a volunteer... donating space on my own server, paid for the domain name registration myself (it's totally separate from the main church website, over which I have zero control), I took the time to create the instructions and try to organize it to be user-friendly (for the end-users, uploaders, and office staff)... and it got ignored by the first person to agree to help. I created all this so that if I get totally distracted with the new baby, I can hand the job off to someone else and trust that it will be done similarly to how I'd been doing it for continuity of the users (mind you, some of these download counts are already indicating that about 1/4th of the number of people showing up on an average Sunday are also listening online - we generally have ~200 people on a Sunday morning and a lot of the download counts are over 50, it's only been online since January and I think it wasn't even mentioned in the church newsletter until April... plus the download counts get reset when I mess with the back-end stuff sometimes).
So... what do I do? I'm trying to gently get through to this person that it needs to be standardized for several reasons, but I'm not sure it's getting through. I'm trying to remember if it was this past Sunday or the Sunday before that we spoke during coffee hour, but the other person hasn't taken the initiative to go in and edit the parts that they did wrong yet, so I'm trying to fix it up since I was working on some back-end stuff anyway (while waiting for Liam to snooze so I can work on the other computer where I'm doing some graphic manipulation that's sitting in a partially finished state - love that ctrl-s key combination). I'm not the most diplomatic person by nature, and I've been known to totally steamroller people when I get going, so I'm trying not to piss this person off so much that they decide they don't want to do it at ALL, but at the same time, I'd rather no one else was messing with it if they're not going to do it in a way that actually saves my having to redo it all anyway, ya know? *sigh*
Well, for those readers who DON'T actually go to church with me (or who missed those Sundays) at least one of the services I delivered is up on the website here...notice the standardized URL with the date of the service . I may be a narcissist and upload the others later if I feel like it, I really should probably be working on my own photography website more (I plan to advertise for portrait customers toward the end of summer, if we get the the attic studio set up enough for people to come here at least some of the time). My hosting company increased the storage and bandwidth drastically (from 5gb storage and I think 100gb transfer per month to 200gb storage and I think 2000gb transfer per month, as well as dropping the yearly subscription price by $5) so I'm feeling some momentum to actually accomplish stuff on the sites... I've been uploading pictures to yeungs.us, working on getting Garvin's family tree (which is all in Chinese, of course) uploaded so the extended family all have access to it, but that's been not working for some reason.
Liam's asking for apple juice, gotta go.
Classic case of RTFM, and since in this case *I* created the "FM" in question, I'm fuming. But it's "just" a volunteer thing, so I can't get mad, right? Grr.... *I* am doing this as a volunteer... donating space on my own server, paid for the domain name registration myself (it's totally separate from the main church website, over which I have zero control), I took the time to create the instructions and try to organize it to be user-friendly (for the end-users, uploaders, and office staff)... and it got ignored by the first person to agree to help. I created all this so that if I get totally distracted with the new baby, I can hand the job off to someone else and trust that it will be done similarly to how I'd been doing it for continuity of the users (mind you, some of these download counts are already indicating that about 1/4th of the number of people showing up on an average Sunday are also listening online - we generally have ~200 people on a Sunday morning and a lot of the download counts are over 50, it's only been online since January and I think it wasn't even mentioned in the church newsletter until April... plus the download counts get reset when I mess with the back-end stuff sometimes).
So... what do I do? I'm trying to gently get through to this person that it needs to be standardized for several reasons, but I'm not sure it's getting through. I'm trying to remember if it was this past Sunday or the Sunday before that we spoke during coffee hour, but the other person hasn't taken the initiative to go in and edit the parts that they did wrong yet, so I'm trying to fix it up since I was working on some back-end stuff anyway (while waiting for Liam to snooze so I can work on the other computer where I'm doing some graphic manipulation that's sitting in a partially finished state - love that ctrl-s key combination). I'm not the most diplomatic person by nature, and I've been known to totally steamroller people when I get going, so I'm trying not to piss this person off so much that they decide they don't want to do it at ALL, but at the same time, I'd rather no one else was messing with it if they're not going to do it in a way that actually saves my having to redo it all anyway, ya know? *sigh*
Well, for those readers who DON'T actually go to church with me (or who missed those Sundays) at least one of the services I delivered is up on the website here...
Liam's asking for apple juice, gotta go.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Kudos to Target for being supportive of breastfeeding
I wanted to make this a separate post from the "baby stuff" one before, this is something that makes me so happy I'm actually tearing up a bit at the minute after having called Target's help line (for lack of another appropriate looking number) to say thanks directly. For once, I've found some major marketing from a large company that actually supports breastfeeding, mirroring their "actions" with their words/press releases... in fact, considering that particular press release said that women are welcome to breastfeed "discreetly" in their stores, I'd say this is actually even more progress since that press release (this part of the post has been edited).
As I mentioned in my last post, I created a Target registry for the Piglet. I don't remember them doing this when I was pregnant with Liam (though there was a LOT going on then so I may just have forgot), but this time around they handed me this really well printed full-color THICK catalog of baby gear with reminders of the "important" stuff to include on the registry. I got something similar from Babies R Us too, pretty standard. I shoved it into the bag of the few household items I'd picked up and took it home, intending to just let Liam look at the pictures of babies and such.
Well, I actually sat down and looked at it, and color me impressed. The first checklist in the catalog focuses on nursery stuff (crib, mattress, bedding, etc etc etc), but right there fourth from the bottom the Ahmie happiness starts: nursing pillow. Hmm. Cool to call it that instead of just "baby support pillow" or something a little more neutral. Moving on, two page full-color artistic spread of Boppy pillows on page 31, they say "feeding" without distinguishing which kind (and yes, Boppy pillows are wonderful for bottlefeeders too! They're one of my favorite baby items). Still happy Ahmie. A few pages down on pg 34 is that little padded "keep the comforter off the newborn" Close & Secure Sleeper, which makes nervous parents more comfortable with co-sleeping (which also helps with early breastfeeding) mixed in with the crib mattresses and such. Ok, flipping on... first time I spot a bottle, page 39 (also has a pacifier) mixed in with a bunch of baby clothes. No big, they're pretty ubiquitous in our culture, and plenty of breastfeeders have bottles also "just in case" or for when Mom's away (we have a stockpile, barely touched since Liam hated bottles). Another bottle isn't pictured until page 65, when it's used to illustrate a possible use of one of the pockets of a "behind the carseat" organizer (also shows a stuffed toy and a few other items in there). In the meantime, I have seen several happy looking children (with more racial diversity than you're likely to see outside of one of the big cities on the coast - the four parent/child pairs on page 55's baby carrier page has a Caucasian mom/baby, an Asian mom/baby, a medium complexion mom/baby that I think are Latinas, and an African-American DAD/baby - double kudos for showing an actively involved daddy, tho I do wish they had a little more sling and carrier style diversity... Mama really wants an Ergo but they're not available on any of the places I've seen baby registries, and the sling shown doesn't look terribly comfortable for mom... none of them are as easy for breastfeeding as a plain old ring sling, that's for sure). Oh, and mixed in with those happy, racially diverse children, there have been at least 3 sippy cups I've spotted between bottles... in other words, in a BABY registry, I've seen more sippy cups than bottles by the time I'm about halfway through the catalog. It gets better. Another little bottle is mixed in at the bottom of "stuff that fell out of the diaper bag" spread on pg 66 (understandable reference there), an inexplicable pacifier amongst a very creative display of what looks like playing cards showing off the "matching sets" (to show how you can have your play yard, stroller, carseat, baby swing, and high chair all color/pattern coordinate)... then it's on to baby toys, more pictures of happy pre-solids age racially diverse babies and a total lack of bottles in the pictures!
Another bottle isn't shown until pg 88, and in pride of place above the bottles is a (manual) breastpump. Yes, there are containers of formula on the same page (four of them, in fact, including two single-feeding bottles of Nestle Good Start Supreme), but the breastpump is sitting ON TOP of them, one of the formula bottles is on it's side... psychologically it conveys the idea that pumped milk is superior! In the checklist for the section, breast pump and nursing accessories are listed. formula is not!
It's here in the feeding section that I get really impressed. For starters try to help with picking bottles for people who plan to switch-feed (breast and bottle feeders) with sticking the Avent Naturally bottle in there (Avent claims that their silicone nipple mimics the shape and feel of the breast, which I don't entirely believe - Liam actually seemed to dislike silicone nipples and Avent and Playtex nipple shapes aren't all that different... most breasts I've seen are more shaped like the old-fashioned Playtex nipples than these over-rounded-edge ones they're selling now, but I don't have any memorable experiences of trying to nurse off a breast to compare nursing off a bottle with, maybe we can get a better product review from Liam someday). Following the two page spread of bottles is a two page spread of formulas (2 per page), pg 94 i a cluster of Nestle Good Start's various packaging (including showing how a bottle nipple fits directly on the probably 4oz bottles in the first picture that had the breastpump on top) and there's a powdered formula dispenser advertised with the bottles on page 95. Page 96 is the Enfamil spread,pg 98 is the Similac spread (including the Organic one front and center), various cute bibs with a bottle laying on one on the opposite page, then a 2 page spread of pacifiers (and I know plenty of breastfeeding moms that use those... Liam wouldn't use them consistantly until he was teething but boy did I wish he'd take one sometimes!).. then we're at the breastpumps. A page of "natural feeding 101" on page 102 gives an overview the different styles of pumps (single vs. double, manual vs. electric), the facing page has Medela supplies (including in pride of place the favorite pump of many of my nursing friends, the Medela Lug...er... Pump in Style at the standard price of $250, and the new Medela Swing that actually has me intrigued, but not intrigued enough to spend $150 when I have other pumps that I know work for me already). Turn the page and you get a two-page spread of Avent pumps, the manual ISIS on the left and the motorized ISIS iQ Uno and iQ Duo on the right), along with breast pads, microwave sterilizer, Avent-brand bottles and another inexplicable pacifier *shrug*. Next page has the pump that I actually own - it's rebranded by Lansinoh, but that's the Ameda Purely Yours in a different color (I bought mine off the lactation consultant when Liam was born) along with more storage supplies, creams and nursing pads, with the Evenflo Comfort Select dual on the opposite page (I haven't looked at it in more than 2 years but I *think* the other pump I bought was the single-side version of that pump, once I figured out I was doing most of my pumping while nursing on the other side and having the motor attached was easier to deal with than juggling baby, touch-the-breast pump bits, and motor somewhere off to the side usually on the floor). Next page is the Playtex double electric pump, with the First Years models (a double electric and a manual) on the facing page, then we're on to the diapering section.
So did you catch it? It's hard to keep count, I know, but tabulating the above that means that branded formula appeared on six pages (seven pages if you count the formula dispensor - it has powder in the chamber but no brand indicated), including the first picture that had the pump on top of the formula). Breastpumps appeared (including the first picture with the formula and the drawn illustrations of the differences between pumps) on NINE PAGES! They actually gave more "screen time" to breastpumps than they did to formula manufacturers! OH MY GOODNESS THIS IS PROGRESS! Yes, there are lots of pictures of bottles with white liquid in them, but the only time that you KNOW it's formula in there are in the two pictures that have a label on them (forgot to mention that Enfamil had their single-serve bottles pictured too). For all we know (and especially since I'm a photographer myself), it could be diluted white glue in the bottles (that's what they usually use in the pictures on cereal boxes, in case you didn't know - real milk isn't high enough viscosity to hold the "pose").
The cherry on top? In 125+ pages, there's not a SINGLE IMAGE of a baby and a bottle on the same PAGE, much less of a baby drinking from a bottle.
We've come a long way, babies.
Next step, I'd love to see a picture of a mom actually USING one of the nursing pillows, in one of the gliders they sell, with baby's face snuggled to her chest, shirt tucked in for modesty is fine (heck, that's how *I* nurse at home to minimize the blood loss from little nails!). Which just made something else occur to me - even tho I've seen them for sale in the stores, those silly nursing cape things to "discreetly nurse" weren't advertised in the book! Oh, and they could start carrying non-pajama nursing tops... and advertise nursing bras in the catalog too... those would be nice additions ;)
Feel the same way? Here's the number I called to say thank you (it's the registry help line, couldn't find another more appropriate number and the lady said she's able to send the message along easily - they're so happy to get compliments instead of complaints, it makes a Customer Service Rep's day, I speak from experience here). The number is 800-888-9333, select baby registries (I think 2 in the prompt) then 0 for an operator. They'll ask you specifics about whose registry when you're first connected to a human, but you can probably just tell them that you're calling with a general compliment about their registry process or something (I did tell them my name and let them look up my registry since I have one currently). The more compliments they get, the more likely they are to keep up the good work and even take further steps!
As I mentioned in my last post, I created a Target registry for the Piglet. I don't remember them doing this when I was pregnant with Liam (though there was a LOT going on then so I may just have forgot), but this time around they handed me this really well printed full-color THICK catalog of baby gear with reminders of the "important" stuff to include on the registry. I got something similar from Babies R Us too, pretty standard. I shoved it into the bag of the few household items I'd picked up and took it home, intending to just let Liam look at the pictures of babies and such.
Well, I actually sat down and looked at it, and color me impressed. The first checklist in the catalog focuses on nursery stuff (crib, mattress, bedding, etc etc etc), but right there fourth from the bottom the Ahmie happiness starts: nursing pillow. Hmm. Cool to call it that instead of just "baby support pillow" or something a little more neutral. Moving on, two page full-color artistic spread of Boppy pillows on page 31, they say "feeding" without distinguishing which kind (and yes, Boppy pillows are wonderful for bottlefeeders too! They're one of my favorite baby items). Still happy Ahmie. A few pages down on pg 34 is that little padded "keep the comforter off the newborn" Close & Secure Sleeper, which makes nervous parents more comfortable with co-sleeping (which also helps with early breastfeeding) mixed in with the crib mattresses and such. Ok, flipping on... first time I spot a bottle, page 39 (also has a pacifier) mixed in with a bunch of baby clothes. No big, they're pretty ubiquitous in our culture, and plenty of breastfeeders have bottles also "just in case" or for when Mom's away (we have a stockpile, barely touched since Liam hated bottles). Another bottle isn't pictured until page 65, when it's used to illustrate a possible use of one of the pockets of a "behind the carseat" organizer (also shows a stuffed toy and a few other items in there). In the meantime, I have seen several happy looking children (with more racial diversity than you're likely to see outside of one of the big cities on the coast - the four parent/child pairs on page 55's baby carrier page has a Caucasian mom/baby, an Asian mom/baby, a medium complexion mom/baby that I think are Latinas, and an African-American DAD/baby - double kudos for showing an actively involved daddy, tho I do wish they had a little more sling and carrier style diversity... Mama really wants an Ergo but they're not available on any of the places I've seen baby registries, and the sling shown doesn't look terribly comfortable for mom... none of them are as easy for breastfeeding as a plain old ring sling, that's for sure). Oh, and mixed in with those happy, racially diverse children, there have been at least 3 sippy cups I've spotted between bottles... in other words, in a BABY registry, I've seen more sippy cups than bottles by the time I'm about halfway through the catalog. It gets better. Another little bottle is mixed in at the bottom of "stuff that fell out of the diaper bag" spread on pg 66 (understandable reference there), an inexplicable pacifier amongst a very creative display of what looks like playing cards showing off the "matching sets" (to show how you can have your play yard, stroller, carseat, baby swing, and high chair all color/pattern coordinate)... then it's on to baby toys, more pictures of happy pre-solids age racially diverse babies and a total lack of bottles in the pictures!
Another bottle isn't shown until pg 88, and in pride of place above the bottles is a (manual) breastpump. Yes, there are containers of formula on the same page (four of them, in fact, including two single-feeding bottles of Nestle Good Start Supreme), but the breastpump is sitting ON TOP of them, one of the formula bottles is on it's side... psychologically it conveys the idea that pumped milk is superior! In the checklist for the section, breast pump and nursing accessories are listed. formula is not!
It's here in the feeding section that I get really impressed. For starters try to help with picking bottles for people who plan to switch-feed (breast and bottle feeders) with sticking the Avent Naturally bottle in there (Avent claims that their silicone nipple mimics the shape and feel of the breast, which I don't entirely believe - Liam actually seemed to dislike silicone nipples and Avent and Playtex nipple shapes aren't all that different... most breasts I've seen are more shaped like the old-fashioned Playtex nipples than these over-rounded-edge ones they're selling now, but I don't have any memorable experiences of trying to nurse off a breast to compare nursing off a bottle with, maybe we can get a better product review from Liam someday). Following the two page spread of bottles is a two page spread of formulas (2 per page), pg 94 i a cluster of Nestle Good Start's various packaging (including showing how a bottle nipple fits directly on the probably 4oz bottles in the first picture that had the breastpump on top) and there's a powdered formula dispenser advertised with the bottles on page 95. Page 96 is the Enfamil spread,pg 98 is the Similac spread (including the Organic one front and center), various cute bibs with a bottle laying on one on the opposite page, then a 2 page spread of pacifiers (and I know plenty of breastfeeding moms that use those... Liam wouldn't use them consistantly until he was teething but boy did I wish he'd take one sometimes!).. then we're at the breastpumps. A page of "natural feeding 101" on page 102 gives an overview the different styles of pumps (single vs. double, manual vs. electric), the facing page has Medela supplies (including in pride of place the favorite pump of many of my nursing friends, the Medela Lug...er... Pump in Style at the standard price of $250, and the new Medela Swing that actually has me intrigued, but not intrigued enough to spend $150 when I have other pumps that I know work for me already). Turn the page and you get a two-page spread of Avent pumps, the manual ISIS on the left and the motorized ISIS iQ Uno and iQ Duo on the right), along with breast pads, microwave sterilizer, Avent-brand bottles and another inexplicable pacifier *shrug*. Next page has the pump that I actually own - it's rebranded by Lansinoh, but that's the Ameda Purely Yours in a different color (I bought mine off the lactation consultant when Liam was born) along with more storage supplies, creams and nursing pads, with the Evenflo Comfort Select dual on the opposite page (I haven't looked at it in more than 2 years but I *think* the other pump I bought was the single-side version of that pump, once I figured out I was doing most of my pumping while nursing on the other side and having the motor attached was easier to deal with than juggling baby, touch-the-breast pump bits, and motor somewhere off to the side usually on the floor). Next page is the Playtex double electric pump, with the First Years models (a double electric and a manual) on the facing page, then we're on to the diapering section.
So did you catch it? It's hard to keep count, I know, but tabulating the above that means that branded formula appeared on six pages (seven pages if you count the formula dispensor - it has powder in the chamber but no brand indicated), including the first picture that had the pump on top of the formula). Breastpumps appeared (including the first picture with the formula and the drawn illustrations of the differences between pumps) on NINE PAGES! They actually gave more "screen time" to breastpumps than they did to formula manufacturers! OH MY GOODNESS THIS IS PROGRESS! Yes, there are lots of pictures of bottles with white liquid in them, but the only time that you KNOW it's formula in there are in the two pictures that have a label on them (forgot to mention that Enfamil had their single-serve bottles pictured too). For all we know (and especially since I'm a photographer myself), it could be diluted white glue in the bottles (that's what they usually use in the pictures on cereal boxes, in case you didn't know - real milk isn't high enough viscosity to hold the "pose").
The cherry on top? In 125+ pages, there's not a SINGLE IMAGE of a baby and a bottle on the same PAGE, much less of a baby drinking from a bottle.
We've come a long way, babies.
Next step, I'd love to see a picture of a mom actually USING one of the nursing pillows, in one of the gliders they sell, with baby's face snuggled to her chest, shirt tucked in for modesty is fine (heck, that's how *I* nurse at home to minimize the blood loss from little nails!). Which just made something else occur to me - even tho I've seen them for sale in the stores, those silly nursing cape things to "discreetly nurse" weren't advertised in the book! Oh, and they could start carrying non-pajama nursing tops... and advertise nursing bras in the catalog too... those would be nice additions ;)
Feel the same way? Here's the number I called to say thank you (it's the registry help line, couldn't find another more appropriate number and the lady said she's able to send the message along easily - they're so happy to get compliments instead of complaints, it makes a Customer Service Rep's day, I speak from experience here). The number is 800-888-9333, select baby registries (I think 2 in the prompt) then 0 for an operator. They'll ask you specifics about whose registry when you're first connected to a human, but you can probably just tell them that you're calling with a general compliment about their registry process or something (I did tell them my name and let them look up my registry since I have one currently). The more compliments they get, the more likely they are to keep up the good work and even take further steps!
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September 11th, 2007 at 12:12 pm
Here’s the relevant section of the ADA here:
Sec. 12189. Examinations and courses
Any person that offers examinations or courses related to applications, licensing, certification, or credentialing for secondary or postsecondary education, professional, or trade purposes shall offer such examinations or courses in a place and manner accessible to persons with disabilities or offer alternative accessible arrangements for such individuals.
The ADA does NOT stipulate what disabilities are covered and what are not. This woman has just finished medical school through a pregnancy, where I’m sure that everyone she came in contact with told her how important it is to give her baby ONLY BREASTMILK for at least the first six months (logically, the time limit is when the baby has teeth to eat solid foods, not an arbitrary calendar date based upon the average age babies have two bottom and two top teeth - individual variation should be taken into account). Denying her request for time to pump and keep up the caloric intake required to sustain breastfeeding, as well as deal with the output issues from the increased caloric and fluid intake required to sustain breastfeeding, is discrimination and impacts not just her but her young child who is dependent on her ability to lactate for nutrition.
I am myself both disabled (mobility issues due to hypermobility, joint problems) and entitled to extended test time to allow me to move around so my joints don’t lock up from extended sitting when I took the GRE. THe same issue has resulted in my not being able to sit for jury duty (I wanted to, actually), and I do have a permanent handicapped parking license plate. I am also a breastfeeding mother, nursing my second child (11 weeks old tomorrow) as I type this. Pumping takes varying amounts of time depending on the mother, the pump, stress levels, etc and is rather unpredictable. She could well require 45 minutes to achieve full emptying of her breasts, especially if she is stressed, hungry and dehydrated.
As to your supposition that taking time off to care for her child won’t have repercussions on her career - oh really? Do you speak from personal experience? Considering how horribly undervalued mothers are in the United States in general, your claim is invalid at its face. Women who are mothers are the reason that the wage gap between men and women is still so drastic - non-mothers actually earn very close to what men earn. It’s the gaps in our employment that legitimize the discrimination in pay we receive. She has a prestigious residency waiting only for her to pass this test and is prepared to take on that demanding work while also doing the demanding work of mothering an infant. Only this test and the barriers it puts to her HEALTH stand in the way. If she were to develop mastitis from the lack of accomodation in taking the test, or if she wound up having to suppliment with formula due to not having enough milk/supply issues from not being accomodated (and yes, one or two days CAN make that big of a difference - I’ve had supply issues for a few days from taking a single dose of Sudafed with my first, add on that she’d be starting her residency soon after and her risk of ongoing supply issues once started is exponential).
The way you state your arguments, you really sound like one of those “women should be home, barefoot and pregnant” types. Society has progressed several decades beyond that and women will not accept going back. The only issue that I have with her claim is that it’s not JUST her rights that are being violated, it’s both her AND her child’s rights that are being disregarded.
Please do a little research on aspects of breastmilk and production before you rant about a topic you clearly have no experience dealing with. A good place to start is llli.org - the website for La Leche League International. There you can also find the text of the laws in this regard. For instance, if she had been in NY when this happened, she would have been covered by NY state’s breastfeeding protection laws, which are written into their civil rights code and have specific penalties for violations. “Pregnancy-related conditions” are covered under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act. No stretch of the imagination required to view lactation as a “pregnancy-related condition” and so it is, by logic if not by name, included in those provisions prohibiting discrimination.
September 11th, 2007 at 12:40 pm
As a father of a severely hearing-impaired daughter who has never once requested special treatment at anything, relying on her own strengths and acquired talents, I know the difference between a disability not of one’s choosing (blindness, deafness, paralysis) and one which is elective, like getting pregnant and demanding special considerations. I think there is a huge difference. Let’s not forget that Ms. Currier has already been given extra consideration and it did her no good. And what’s wrong with recommending that she simply devote six months out of her life for the benefit of this child rather than subordinating everything for her career? It’s a choice, pretty much what life is like. And just who’s on the rant here?